


Holocene

by KyloRentheEmoOverlord



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Dark Rey, Dark Side Rey, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo is so hot, Rey Says Yes And Actually Means It So Don't Read if You think She changes her Mind, Rey says yes, Romance, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, read this if you were really hoping for dark rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-02-15 20:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 38,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13039203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloRentheEmoOverlord/pseuds/KyloRentheEmoOverlord
Summary: After the death of Snoke, Kylo and Rey wake up, side by side following the collision. He convinces her to join him in taking the galaxy into their hands. By a twist of fate, Rey accepts.*Semi slow burn.* AFTER TLJ.JJ Abrams hire me I'm like Rian Johnson I just want Reylo.





	1. Prologue

 

_Holocene_

"Its name comes from the Ancient Greek words ὅλος ( _holos_ , whole or entire) and καινός ( _kainos_ , new), meaning "entirely recent"

Prologue 

* * *

 

Pain.

A sharp, shooting pain immediately shot through Rey’s head, her eyes burning against the light as she blinked. A groan was emitted, but it did not come from her. She pulled her body up faster and felt glass sting her palm as it sliced it open.

There was glass and debris everywhere. Her eyes drifted over to the groaning noise and she saw a large figure on the ground several feet from her.

Kylo Ren.

It all came flashing back to her in a feverish manner. The sabers clashing against one another, Snoke dead, Kylo and her defending each other, the hilt being drawn apart from either of them. Their opposing force use caused them to fall back, _hard_ and knockout.

 

Kylo sat up quickly after coming to his senses, the girl was still near him. He looked over to her, blinking rapidly as the pain shot through his head as well, along with the flashbacks. He watched her cautiously as she slowly inched her way back, afraid he might pull something fast on her.

 

“I will ask you once more to join me. There is no place for you back on Jakku, or in the Resistance. If they wanted you, why did they not come for you? Here, you have a place. With me.” Kylo gathered up his strength and drew himself closer to Rey, begging. Her eyes widened and she grounded herself, refusing to seem too weak.

 

“I can not turn on my friends...They- they knew I was fine! I didn’t need them to rescue me!” Rey shouted angrily, her words a pounding ache to both him and her. Ren looked down and furrowed his brows.

 

“Your parents, they sold you for a pint, deserted you. Your friends, deserted you, did they not? Wouldn’t they be here any minute, like the last time? Let it go, Rey! You are too powerful for them. Let me _finish_ what Luke _attempted_  to do.”  Kylo was growing impatient with her, she was so insistent on seeing these people she barely knows, searching for parental figures even in some of them.

 

“You’re just saying this to manipulate me!” She spat, throwing down her fist onto the cool tile beneath them. It echoed, the sound bouncing off the walls of Snoke’s ship.  Kylo placed his hand over Rey’s bleeding fist.

 

“Look at me,” he prodded gently, waiting for her eyes to meet with his. Her gaze shot up and he saw the conflict burning deep in her eyes.

 

“You told me, I would not bow before Snoke again, I did not. I _killed_ what caused me such conflict. Such grief. Rey,  I can help you now. Let me help you. I see something in you that no one else has seen. Not Luke, not Leia, not Finn….or your parents...” he trailed off, waiting for her to process everything he had unloaded to her.

 

Tears.

Burning hot tears spilled over her cheeks and a sob racked her small body. Kylo took this opportunity to draw her near him, encasing her small body tightly into his arms.

 

Rey was exhausted. She was so tired of fighting so hard for everyone else, when no one was fighting for her as hard. Luke was so reluctant to help her, Han even didn’t believe in her. Why did no one see her potential as fast as Kylo had?

 

Kylo leaned his head down to her ear and quietly whispered.

 

“I will fight for you, Rey.”

 

Her tears were a reminder of the constant feeling that had been inside her since she was young.

Displacement.

Like she didn’t belong no matter where she was. But in this moment, she felt something.

In the arms of her sworn enemy, she felt _safest._ Rey let out a heavy sigh and choked out a response.

“Okay.”

* * *

**Hey guys, it's me, the author:) I am writing a full length story on here, I was just so inspired today, I couldn't help myself. I hope you enjoy my writing style, I can't tell you I am the best there is, but I can tell you I'm a Literature major...That counts for something, right? :) Let me know what you hope happens!** P.S (Every chapter will have a song recommendation, I believe reading should be immersive so I will provide the jams!


	2. Departure

 

*** Song Rec- Losing You- Aquillo**

* * *

 

**Departure**

 

Rey laced up her boots and took a long pause to look outside of the docking station. The First Order officers  had relocated themselves into Kylo Ren’s Command Shuttle , in preparations for their newest ship to finish production. The Finalizer II, after the recent destruction of a number of their ships, including the Dreadnought, was nearly finished and ready to host the order. Along with that, The First Order already began to reconstruct The Star Killer Base in yet another planet.

 

It was overwhelming for Rey.

 

It always seemed that the First Order out sourced the Resistance at every angle. They constantly are in the works of creating new weapons, new bases, new ships. The Resistance only ever seemed to be constantly on the run. She sat up and took a deep breath. She was returning to one of the Resistance’s bases they had managed to stumble upon. After her departure with Kylo Ren, she had been flooded with signals and messages concerned about her whereabouts.

 

The battle stumbled to a halt for now, allegedly the First Order, by the command of their new Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, pulled back, claiming it was crucial to refuel and recollect the order.

Rey knew that The Resistance claimed home to Crait now, the desolate, salt planet. She frowned. Though she missed them, there  was a spark in her that felt anger now. They didn’t care to ask how she was, where she was, until several days. The only concern they had was saving their asses and killing the son of  General Leia Organa. Her anger was also directed towards Luke. Had he not attempted to _murder_ Ben Solo, none of this world have even taken place.

 

Rey was torn between two issues.

 

In her heart, she felt deeply for Ben. She felt his own conflict tearing him apart, she saw a man who had all faith lost in him by everyone before he had the chance to decide his own fate. She saw a man in pain and a desire to belong.  On the other hand, she sees someone who murdered so many, including his father.

 

She looks at him and sees a chance of redemption. But is it her redemption? Or his?

 

“Rey.” A cool voice suddenly interrupted her thoughts and she looked up to see a large figure cloaked in black fabric above her. She stood up and waited for Kylo to continue. He placed a gloved hand on her shoulder and looked deep into her eyes.

 

“Remember why you are going back. You are going back to collect a few belongings, tell the Resistance you are on a mission to seek your lineage, do not speak of me.” His words were grating, serious, and demanding. She knew the importance of not allowing Leia or anyone to know of her future whereabouts.

 

Rey nodded and loaded herself into a Tie Fighter. Initially she wanted to take Kylo’s _Silencer,_ but against better judgment, she knew the possibility of being shot out of the orbit in Crait faster than she had a chance to land.

 

Slowly she began to depart. Ren was now joined by his second in command, General Hux.

 

“What exactly do you plan to do with this desert rat? Before you tell me she has a significant edge we crucially need, do you not see her emotional instability. You let her go, _again._ What if she doesn’t come back?” Hux was ranting now, a small vein begin to pulsate at the edge of his temple.

 

He was angry. Angry that Kylo slaughtered their master. Angry that, now, he must take orders from a new Supreme Leader. But he believed in the First Order and all it stands too much to desert it.

 

“I know what I’m doing. Leave me, Hux.” In that dismissive moment, Kylo turned on his heel and went back to his command bridge. Hux rolled his eyes and went about his own business, searching for Phasma so they could begin to discuss  the relocation and recruitment process.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey closed her eyes and held her breath as her ship began to exit hyperdrive and orbit into Crait. She prayed she would have a chance to land before they saw a First Order fighter and panicked. Her descent began and she prayed to any diety out there that she would survive the landing.

 

Her mission was rather simply, go to the base, grab a few essentials, or rather the three things that belonged to her name, and quickly explain her false whereabouts.

 

She landed onto the icy surface and and was quickly met by two outdated Resistance fighters. She tried to communicate with the station below, but it was evident that they did not have their transmission lines set up. She stood up and slowly raised her hands as she made her exit, calling attention to the fact that it was _her_ not a First Order member.

 

She quickly recognized the two faces in front of her. Finn and who she presumed to be Poe. Finn’s entire face lit up and she felt a sting of regret. She faked a smile and quickly accepted his embrace.

 

“Rey! I’ve been so worried about you, we went out a searched for you!” Lie. She knew this was a lie. He cared for her, she knew that, but they did not search for her. Never once did she feel his presence anywhere near her. Poe gave her a soft smile and a quick hug. He was the one that managed to buy extra time by distracting Hux.

 

“Are you okay? You must have managed to escape from those scum, I see you stole one of their fighters as well- wait,” he paused as an inquisitive look struck his face,” _why_ were you there?” His words slowly turned into malice and Poe also tightened his expression.

 

“We were there. You didn’t even tell us. Rose and I nearly died there! We were trying to crack codes and got caught, the only reason we made it out alive was due to their retreat commands and-” He was flustered now, visibly upset that Rey had been onboard at the same time and made no efforts to assist them. Rey was angry now.

 

“Excuse me? I was there to convince him to leave this blood stained life he leads, and you’re here _accusing_ me of not helping! I was there for Snoke’s death, I was there to defeat the Order and you _selfishly_ accuse-”

“Enough.” Poe cut both of them off and frowned.

 

“You’re both alive and here now, that is what matters.” Finn scowled and turned around, not waiting for Rey to catch up. Rey was furious with his behavior. Her mind drifted elsewhere on the walk back to their base. A flashback filled her mind.

 

_“ Rey,  I can help you now. Let me help you. I see something in you that no one else has seen. Not Luke, not Leia, not Finn….or your parents...”_

 

She hoped Kylo was right. After this interaction with Finn, she felt he was. Finn was so fast to accuse her and blame her, rather than asking where she was and if she was alright, he couldn’t even do that! His first thought process was to corner her. She grimaced.

 

“Where were you all this time? We needed you.” Poe had sank back to her pace and quietly whispered this to her. They had never met before this interaction and here he was, another person refusing to see how her not being there was her _helping._

 

“I went all that way to gather Luke, change Kylo’s mind, and all you seem to do is seek my failure.” She pushed past Poe and Finn and quickly walked into the base, directly heading to Leia. She spotted the General and pushed her way into the command center, overflowing with what was left of the Resistance.

 

Pathetic.

 

“Leia, I-”

“Save it, you didn’t come back with Luke, you didn’t come back to even help in time. We lost countless bodies, Rey. Where were you?” Her accusatory words felt like a fresh slap across the face to Rey. Rey’s eyebrows furrowed and her expression darkened.

 

“You all sit here and blame _me_ for not being able to save all your asses! I am tired of the accusations and blame!” Rey was shouting now, in the face of the one person she never thought would turn  on her like this.

 

She could understand how Ben felt so betrayed by his family. The moment one thing does not go their way, they see who then can make responsible for atrocities

 

For the first time, Rey felt something near contempt for the people in front of her, rather than a place of comfort and safety.

 

Had she any doubts about leaving the Resistance, they completely dissipated now.

 

Before Leia said anything else, Rey left. She snatched a bag off the nearby shelf that contained her belongings, set next to others. She didn’t care about saying goodbye to any of these people. She exited the hanger and stormed  back outside to the tie fighter.

 

“You’re going back to him, aren’t you!” Finn screamed out at her, the rage clearly evident in his voice. Rey snapped back around and glared at him.

 

“Where I go is no longer your concern, Finn!” She threw her bag into the fighter and forcefully sat herself down. He stopped inches from the glass and his nostrils flared from the anger.

 

“Traitor.” Was the only word that left his mouth. He practically spit that word at her, the poisonous accusation dropped out of tone.

 

Rey clicked herself into the seat and looked back at him.

 

“That’s gold, FN-2187.”

* * *

 

 **These chapters will** **increasingly get longer as the story goes on, I am just trying to get the intro rolling here. Let me know how you liked it! I am trying as hard as I can to keep everything in line and not out of character. Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments, I will respond to everything I can!**


	3. Electricity

**Song Rec- Movements by Pham, Yung Fusion

* * *

 

**Electricity**

 

Armitage Hux was a very difficult man to get along with. Now, Rey figured this out very quickly when he insisted on harassing her when she was trying to work in peace.

 

Since her arrival back to The First Order, she bought her time buy fixing small things around Kylo’s shuttle. She had nothing better to do until they transferred onto The Finalizer II. She had very mixed feelings on that happening so soon. A small part of her still cared very deeply for those friends she made back in the Resistance. She knew that she needed to let it go.

 

_Let the past die._

 

At least, that is what Kylo has been trying to instill in her for the past few weeks. Rey scrunched her nose and peered deeper into the control panel. The left wing had been having issues with the lights flickering and reported it, so she had been hunched over this job for the last hour.

 

“What you are doing is entirely useless.” Hux muttered, tapping away at his datapod. Rey rolled her eyes. That man would do anything if it involved getting a rise out of Rey. She didn’t understand why he took such a keen interest in constantly snooping around near her. She thinks its because Kylo has been so busy with Phasma, discussing the plan to move everyone into the new base. He kicked Hux out of the negotiations after he found out that he called him an “overly sensitive prick” about wanting to order more tie fighters rather than spending more money on additional security measurements for the base. Kylo claimed that the extra security was not needed if “he existed.”

 

“What _you_  are doing is entirely useless,” Rey snapped back, in a snooty mocking tone. Hux immediately stopped typing and frowned at her.

“Did you seriously just mock me? What are you five?” Rey dropped her screwdriver and dead panned.

 

“Yeah, I am about five seconds away from punching you in your face.” Hux leaned down and sneered at her.

 

“I would rather have Kylo Ren hit me than you ever lay a single dirty little-” He stuck his finger in her face and she leaned forward, pretending to bite down on it. Hux visibly displayed a disgusted expression and recoiled.

 

“Savage.” He seethed out. Rey turned back to her work and smirked. However, it did not deter him from still observing her work.

 

“Something tells me if you would just take that yellow wire and-” Rey held a hand up to him.

 

“Excuse me, I do not need a man’s assistance. I used to be the only electrician on Jakku, I know what I am doing.” Hux quirked a brow at this.

 

Well, there was one thing he didn’t know about this scavenger. She actually possessed some skill. Considering the last electrician was executed last week for calling Hux a “gullible idiot” for falling for Poe Dameron’s prank call. Hux took it very personally and ordered the execution of the head electrician for treason. He hummed silently to himself and quickly searched the database to see if anyone else on board possessed this skill.

0.

Fantastic.

 

“I would never under any other circumstance present this offering to you, however, this ship clearly needs electrical help. The last head of the electrical department was executed, so, that leaves you. Do you think you can handle this task?” Hux pinched the bridge of his nose and silently prayed that he would never in his life have to ask this human to do something for him.

 

“You mean like, you want me to train other people?” She sat up, a smirk playing across her features. Hux rolled his eyes.

 

“Yes, did you understand English? Or do you scavengers speak something else?” Her smile did not falter and she continued to seek the enjoyment in this situation that she would probably never get to experience again.

  
“Wow, The General Hux asked _me_ for help? Why, of course I accept!” Rey was grinning ear to ear at this point. It was just too easy to get under his pale skin. If Hux’s eyes rolled any further back into his head, they would probably remain there for a long while.

  


Rey’s stomach gurgled loudly as she packed up her tools and she sheepishly smiled.

 

“I’m positively starving, can you remind me where that cafeteria is again?” Rey swung her back over her shoulder and trailed out of the panel room to follow Hux down the hall. He scoffed.

 

“That place serves the most atrocious food I’ve ever tasted in my entire life.” Hux seemed physically repulsed by the idea of eating in the commoners area of the ship. Rey crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.

 

“Wow, it’s almost like you have never experienced a minor inconvenience in your entire life involving food. Sorry I don’t have the option to eat in the Captain’s quarters like you do and I starved my entire-”

 

“Please, spare me the details I don’t want to hear and just follow me.” Rey gladly accepted this request and quietly followed him. He slid his card into the door and sauntered in.

 

Rey didn’t take time to notice who was in the room. She was far too enthralled with the spread of the hall. Wines, meats, cheeses,  even Fambaa Delight, steamed buns, and spiced cakes were served. This was certainly a step up from the gorba melts on the Millennium Falcon or the  protein packs she ate on Jakku.

 

“Rey, Hux, how considerate of the both of you it is to join us.” Rey looked up and stared at Kylo. He must have just wrapped up a meeting with Phasma. She sensed a slight hint of irritability in his tone but her and Hux decided to brush it off.  

 

Hux took his seat across from Kylo, and Rey followed suite. However, she chose to sit directly next to _him._ Kylo raised a brow, but said nothing. Though, Rey felt a strange heat in their bond ignite. It was almost a small hint of…

Jealousy? Rey shook her head. There was no way. She looked up and connected eyes with Kylo. His expression almost seemed contemplative of her revelation, but showed no true indication of indicating whether or not she was right.

 

“So, _Supreme Leader Ren,”_ Hux started, a small smirk playing on his face,” How is the rendering of _my_ project going?” If Kylo was bothered by Hux’s dig, he did not let it show.

 

“Progress is obviously more steady since I took the matter into my own hands.” He cut into his meat and slowly chewed it, mulling over a question he was preparing to ask Rey. However, he was projecting the thought so loudly that he didn’t even need to open his mouth.

 

“My trip was fine, nothing in particular occured. I grabbed my belongings and left.” Hux looked over at Rey in confusion for a split second before realizing what had happened.

 

“If I am going to be around the two of you, please refrain from contacting each other privately, not all of us have the capability or means to do so.” Hux sipped his wine gently and and continued working on his datapod.

 

“You argued with my mother, FN-2187, and-” Rey’s icy look cut him off before he could even think of finishing that sentence. He didn’t even need to be in her head to hear her nearly scream at him that she was not interesting in discussing the matter.

 

“Anyways, Ren, considering this ship is not meant for hosting us much longer, when can we anticipate to leave?” Kylo bit into his steamed bun and blinked at Hux.

 

“Did Phasma not tell you the news?” Hux peered up at Kylo over his reader and silently waited for Kylo to continue. Even Rey was interested in what he had to say.

 

“We were hoping that perhaps we could all leave without you.” Hux groaned and returned back to his business. Rey leaned into his shoulder to see what he was doing. The general decided to take the high road and not complain about her physical proximity.

 

“Are those weapon orders?” Rey leaned in closer and continued to further press into Hux’s jacket. Now he was annoyed slightly.

 

“Do you mind? An adult is trying to do work here, shoo.” Rey leaned back and crossed her arms. She used the force to tip his glass over onto his datapod.

 

“Damn it, Rey!” He quickly yanked his napkin off his lap and dabbed it onto his prized pod. His entire life was practically logged on that thing. Kylo simply watched on, not intervening, nor condoning her actions. Though, Rey did feel some amusement radiating off his mind.

 

“I was _trying_ to make an arms deal with  dealers in Canto Bright- could you stop pestering me?” He finished wiping the screen and went back to furiously tapping.

 

“When will you be going there?” Kylo asked, lazily dragging his finger along the rim of his glass.

 

“Tomorrow, the sooner, the better. I want to finish this deal, I’ve been trying to fulfill it for months,  but now I need it expedited before I kill someone over there.”

 

“How rational.” Rey muttered under her breath, taking another bite of her steamed bun. It was a pain to go there, and Hux was annoyed he had to be around those economic messes in the gambling city.

 

“Why don’t you take Rey with you, Hux?” Kylo suggested this, a small tug of a smile on his face. Rey looked up, confused. Did he not just give of vibes of jealousy recently, and now he wants to send her off with him? What is his motive?

 

“That sounds like absolute hell to me. I refuse. Why don’t _you_ go with her?” Hux leaned back in his seat and laced his fingers together in his lap.

 

“I have a ship to manage, an order to watch over-”

 

“Wow, it's a wonder that we have Phasma here, isn’t it? We can all go.” Hux refused Kylo to get an edge over him, Supreme Leader or not, he was not going to make his life hell.

 

“Well, Rey?” Kylo and Hux turned to look down at the woman, who was avoiding conversation but continuously stuffing herself.

 

Rey shrugged.

 

“Sure, I guess.”

 

Rey was elated to go on a mission.

* * *

**A/N: I am so overwhelmed by the receiving of this story, I am so ecstatic you all like it. So, this chapter was basically the development of Hux and Rey's relationship. I hate stories that don't incorporate him as a larger role. And I also hate stories that are 95% only Kylo and Rey interacting in the same two places in a ship. Hence the missions! Also- I hope I am doing a good job keeping this all believable.**


	4. Empty Gold

Song Rec- Flashing Lights by Kanye West

* * *

 

 

**Empty Gold**

 

Everything was incredibly flashy. The extravagance of Canto Bright nearly made Rey’s stomach churn in disgust. It made her irate that people like her, those who suffered the cruel  state of penury. Not knowing when her next meal would come, nor knowing if she could sleep peacefully at night without someone trying to ransack her belongings. She silently followed in the footsteps of Hux and Kylo, along with the set of stormtroopers that surrounded them for protection. Four were assigned to Rey, while they only got two. Rey didn’t see why she had to have twice the amount as them. How irrational of them. 

 

Eyes were on them. It was increasingly rare for anyone to see two high ranking officials from The First Order on Canto, let alone the new Supreme Leader. That felt so weird for Rey to think about. Snoke was dead. Kylo murdered him, and no one even bat an eye to this. They simply just accepted him as next in line for command. 

 

Rey took in her saturated surroundings. The buildings were modern, sleek, and seemed nearly perfect. The air reeked of affluence and cigar smoke. Rey frowned as she watched oen couple toss out an entire meal simply because they saw something more appealing. Everywhere she looked she saw lavish shops. Some sold expensive fabrics, one that Rey could only ever dream of touching, she’d probably get dirt on the silk. A store beside it sold extortionate gems and jewelry. Rey had never owned a single piece of jewelry in her entire life.  She watched as couples pranced out of the store, women clutching tightly to a much older man. She wondered if that heavy jewelry ever weighed them down. 

 

How could these people be so materialistic? Were they really in love? Rey balled her hands into fists and glared at the ground. Seems like a place Unkar Plutt would enjoy. Stealing from the poor to better himself. Disgusting. The odium rose in her and it was strong enough for Kylo to feel it. She felt a gentle hum resonate in her mind. She knew that he could feel her animosity rolling off in her waves. 

 

They arrived at a large corporate building, a secretary scurried over to them, directing them to which floor and room to go to.  The stormtroopers, Hux, Kylo, and Rey all filed into the elevator after each other and waited patiently to arrive to the tenth floor. Top level. 

 

_ Ding! _

 

The doors slid back and they filed out, another secretary greeted them, checking off the list. 

 

“Supreme Leader Kylo Ren,” she nervously bowed and smiled,” General Hux, and who is this?” She sneered at Rey. Rey was taken aback. Did this woman seriously just give her that nasty look? 

 

“Excuse me?” Rey pushed past two troopers to step up next to the blonde woman who backed up in distaste of the small woman in front of her. Hux shot a glance to Kylo, worried that Rey was going to make a sense right before closing this deal. 

 

“You aren’t on the list, I can’t let you in.” She smirked, tucking her clipboard between her arms. Rey stared her down. 

 

“You are going to let me in, you absolute bimbo. You are also going to apologize.” The woman blinked. 

 

“I’m sorry I am an absolute bimbo, please, go on.” She recited, blankly staring at the entourage. Rey smiled. Hux breathed a sigh of relief. 

 

“Now that we are finished here, let us continue what we came here to do.” Kylo pushed the large glass doors open and let himself into the office of the arms dealer. 

 

Rey sat down at a large conference table, Hux and Kylo seating themselves on either side of her. The troopers stationed themselves around the large room. 

 

“Ah, gentlemen, welcome. Supreme Leader of the First Order, General Hux.” He skipped over Rey, bowing low to the other men. Rey assumed this was their man they have been trying to strike a deal with. 

 

“We are so sorry this order has been delayed for so long, we had another project to attend to. Not saying that yours was of less importance, but it did come first.” Hux folded his slender fingers and looked over blueprints that were slid across the glass top to him by this man’s assistant. 

 

“These are the additional tie fighters you ordered, as well as the blasters and additional D-93 Incinerators.”  Hux tapped away on his datapad, making sure that all his items were being checked off. Rey zoned out. The list went on and on and on. She was pretty sure the Resistance had a few ships and a couple guns, certainly no Incinerators on deck…

 

“Why are the tie fighters delayed?” Kylo asked, clearly annoyed by the chink in his time schedule. Rey’s attention perked up. 

 

Tie Fighters. 

 

She knew that was one thing the Resistance had placed an order on, right before she left for Ahch-To. 

 

“We simply have a limited supply currently on hand and-” Rey’s head snapped up and she spoke up for the first time in nearly half an hour. 

 

“Lies.” She declared. Everyone in the room stopped speaking and looked over at her. 

 

“Excuse me?” The man asked, nearly scoffing.  Rey leaned back in her seat. 

 

“You’re shipping them to the Resistance. They placed an order roughly a few weeks back. I believe Hux placed his several weeks prior to their request.” Kylo turned his full attention to Rey now, as well as the General. Hux scowled at the arms dealer. 

 

“I am not at  _ liberty  _ to disclose the status of other shipm-” A gurgly cough erupted from his throat as his hands grasped around his neck. Hux was not phased. Kylo slowly brought his index and ring finger closer together. 

 

“At liberty? You’re at a liability now. You either expedite this order now, or we will kill every single person in this nefarious institution.” Hux’s words were cool, but calculated. 

 

Rey had no doubt in her mind this is not the first time negotiations went like this. But she couldn’t believe her first instinct she had was to out the Resistance like that. 

 

_ Because they mean nothing to you now, Rey.  _

 

Kylo’s words floated into her mind, filled her every inch of free space. She looked over at Ren who was releasing the asphyisacted man. His eyes glossed over to her and she saw a look that only confirmed his words. 

 

He was right. But she wasn’t ready to accept that. 

 

The dealer took in huge gulps of air and demanded his assistant grab his datapad so he could fulfill the order now. Hux stood up, placing his belongings into his leather satchel. He cleared his throat. 

“Nice doing business again with you, Calahan.” He gave a curt nod, and waiting for Kylo to exit the room first. Rey went last, but not before she felt a strong grip yank her back into the room. 

 

“Ah- what the-” 

 

“Shut up! You nearly cost me my fucking life over your insolent behavior-” He was cut off by Hux. 

 

“Let her go this instant before I give this woman full permission to snap your arm clean in half.” She was released immediately. 

 

“My apologies, General.” Rey glared, rubbing her arm slowly and walking away. She wished that she snapped his arm off in that moment. And the assistants legs…

 

“Time to leave this heinous planet. Truly, filled with the worst people.” Hux spoke quietly to Rey. Over the course of the trip, he had grown slightly more accustomed to Rey. She definitely won appraisal from him by calling that dealer off, she felt that him conversing with her casually was the reward. 

 

She didn’t mind, she had grown quite fond of him as well. He was extremely intelligent, and often taught her fascinating things about the history of The First Order. 

 

“I wish I would have murdered him.” Kylo said finally, after a long stretch of silence returning back to their ship. Rey hummed in agreement. 

 

“Rey, I was surprised you interjected with that information.” Hux let her board the ship before him and quietly followed behind. Rey shrugged her shoulders. 

 

“He was lying. I can’t stand lying more than anything…” Kylo glanced over his shoulder and studied her face. He felt a memory surface over their bond. A younger version of Rey. 

 

_ “But Unkar! I am so hungry, I was only give 3 and one quarter portion today!” She cried, holding up her dusty hands with cuts all over them from metal scraps.  _

 

_ “ I don’t care! Finish your work! We have no more left!” He shouted at her, while throwing portions away behind the counter, sliding them into the trash. She watched as the food fell into the bin and her heart sank.  _

 

Kylo’s chest tightened and his anger mounted. In the near future, that was the next person whose blood he couldn’t  _ wait  _ to spill on his hands.  

 

Hux nodded and contemplated what she had told him. Once they finished boarding they all took a seat, allowing the pilot to prepare for take off. 

 

Rey slumped down into her seat and watched the pilot flick all the different controls. That was one thing she remembered that she missed. The Falcon. Her first flight. 

Hux took out several files and began to review them. Rey peered over and tried to squint to read better. Hux noticed and wordlessly slid a file her way. 

 

**FIRST ORDER RECRUIT NUMBER EIGHT-SEVEN-TWO**

 

She stared at the title and was able to put two and two together. After the casualties suffered from the battles they had undergone with the Resistance, they were enlisting more. 

 

“Are you really going to resume the war?” It was almost a whisper as it left Rey’s lips. 

 

“Yes. It’s time to get rid of the one group that stands in the way of galactic order. Absolute wastes of space.” Kylo spat, walking into the isle. He had overheard Rey’s question and was quick to answer before Hux could. Though, she assumed he would have answered similarly. Rey nodded. She wasn’t quite ready for the idea of killing those she once considered friends. 

 

“Rey. You have to recognize that here, you have a real purpose. We can actually have you reach your full potential. We see more in you than a girl who should have busy work, or be sent off during times of crucial need.” Hux spoke with a fire she had not seen from him. Kylo looked over at Hux, for once his face was not impassive, but, it showed a look of approval. 

 

Rey closed her eyes and leaned her head back. It was Finn who dragged her into this whole mess but walking into her life. She never asked to join the Resistance, hell, she never asked to join the First Order either... 

 

She accepted.

* * *

 

**A/N: Haha, did you get my song pick for this chapter theme? I thought it was funny... Anyways, how is this story for you so far? Sorry that I like character development and plot.... No porn here.... This is not the porn you're looking for.....**


	5. Prey

Song Rec- &burn by Billie Eilish

* * *

 

**Prey**

 

Rey found herself quite busy with her electrical crew. It had been a full week now since everyone had relocated to the Finalizer II. The weapons order ended up being fulfilled and a free tie fighter was thrown in for the inconvenience. Rey swelled with pride when she found that out after going over the order sheet with Hux. She was quite glad to have Hux around, over the past few weeks she had grown to have him as an acquittance. It was Kylo that she did not see that often. Rey found it odd that he pushed so hard to have her join him, yet, he always seemed to be off doing one thing or another. 

 

“Do I connect this wire into this socket or the one below?” Rey snapped back to attention and looked over at one of her engineers. She squatted down next to him and looked carefully. She took the blue wire from his hand and rerouted it into the top socket. He nodded and took careful notes. 

 

“Thank you, Rey.” She insisted on not having any honorifics attached to her name. She didn’t believe in having others refer to her by some ridiculous title she hadn’t earned. Captain Electrician Rey? 

 

“Do you think it’s possible to take a break? I’m starving!” Cedric stood up, wiping sweat off his forehead and flashed a grin. He was Rey’s favorite person on the team. Cedric was always so cheerful and funny, he really reminded Rey of…

 

Finn.

 

Her heart sank a bit as she remembered her last interaction with him. 

 

_ “Traitor.” _

 

The word managed to echo through her conscious nearly daily. She couldn’t shake it off her mind. The only way she could subdue the guilt that bubbled in her was to remember that, here, she was skyrocketing. Here, they treated her like she was more than a girl with a special talent from Jakku. Here, she was head of the electrician department, associate to weapons deals, and a personal… Her train of thought stopped, what was she to Kylo? Rey wasn’t sure yet, truthfully. All she knew was that he definitely treated her differently. She couldn’t quite explain how, but she knew for a fact he had more patience with her, more care.  Hux was different with her too, he no longer treated her like she was a severe pain in the ass. 

 

“Uh, Rey?” Cedric waved a hand in her face, reminding her that he had asked if she wanted to grab lunch. 

 

“Yes, yes, sorry, let’s go.” She went back into their department room and and set their tools down, locking up shop as she shut the door behind her. Cedric walked with her, chatting  a storm up. They headed to the cafeteria. Which, in Rey’s opinion, was not by any means atrocious like Hux believed. Cedric and Rey made it a routine that after their shift they would come and grab lunch together. The other two engineers, Iren and Ivan, never joined them. Those two were twins,  very odd people at that as well.

 

“Oh man! They’re serving our favorite today, Rey!” Cedric moved up in the line and grabbed two trays for them. Rey took her trey and grinned. 

 

“Salamander sticks?” She guessed, grabbing some napkins from the dispenser. Cedric nodded ehtaustically and let the staff place the food onto his tray. They quickly made their way through the line and sat down at a table in the corner. Rey felt her travelpod beep, but she ignored the notification. No one would message her during her time off. She tapped the comlink in her ear and briefly turned it off. She found the technology nearly impossible to use and couldn’t stand it. 

 

They normally discussed light hearted topics, it was nice to have a break from the overbearing topics that Hux and Kylo regularly brought up. Such as destroying the galaxy or weaponry… Never anything to casually talk about. 

 

“Okay so, you said you’re from Jakku right? What was it like there?” Cedric always seemed to ask about Jakku, Rey just assumed that it was because he grew up on Hoth before joining the First Order. All Hoth had was snow, ice, and death. Sort of like the opposite of Jakku. Which was hot, sand, and death. 

 

“Cedric, you already know it is simply sand and well, not much else. A junkyard of sorts.” Rey spoke in between bites of her salamander meat. Cedric wiped his mouth and took a swig of his water. 

 

“Alright, next question...Is it true Supreme Leader Kylo Ren ordered you to join The First Order?” Cedric asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Before Rey had the chance to react, she heard the main doors to the cafeteria burst open. She looked up to see none other than Kylo Ren storming in, Hux in tow. 

 

Directly towards her. 

 

“Do not, whatever you do, turn around.” She whispered, teeth clenched. Cedric heeded her advice and remained still, eyes wide but quiet. 

 

“Rey. I contacted you and you ignored the notification. Do you think I gave you that comlink for fun? Get up, we have business to take care of.” Kylo ordered, waiting patiently for her to stand up. Hux peered around Kylo, staring at Cedric with an offended look. Kylo simply glared at Cedric. Rey was annoyed by how demanding he was being. Couldn’t he see she was busy? 

 

“Sorry Cedric, we will have to continue this another time.” She gave him a tight smile and he waved her off. Kylo watched her like a predatory animal would watch its prey, she dumped her food and walked out of the cafeteria. 

 

“Did you have to make such a scene like that!” Rey hissed, walking twice as fast to keep pace with the two men. Hux looked over at her and frowned. 

 

“If we are trying to contact you, you shouldn't ignore us.” He chastised. Rey rolled her eyes. They walked down the corridor at lightning speed, troopers practically threw themselves out of the way to avoid them. They finally arrived at a room. Kylo slid his card into the door and they both followed him in. It was Kylo’s room. Rey was puzzled, why were they meeting in his room, of all places? 

 

It was so much bigger than hers, the bed was larger, the comforter looked warmer, and he even had a table in his room! His bathroom looked larger than usual as well. Rey silently cursed him for having such a nice set up in comparison to her twin bed and tiny shower. Which, she was incredibly grateful for nonetheless, she just didn’t know that someone’s bed or shower could get  _ any  _ larger. 

  
  


“Now that I have you both here, it’s time to discuss this.” He sat down at his table, shuffling some papers over. Hux walked over, pulling a seat out for Rey, and then one for himself. 

 

“Thanks.” She took her seat and waited for Kylo to continue. 

 

“As you know, we are going to be launching an attack on The Resistance once more.” He started, looking over to Hux who simply nodded. Rey cringed on the inside. She spent so much of her time trying to avoid this. Kylo frowned. She must have accidentally projected that thought. 

 

“Rey, can you tell us who was remaining when you went back to Crait? Where did they plan to go next?” Hux asked, ready to take notes on his datapad. Rey didn’t actually stay long enough to take inventory on who was there or what they planned to do next.

 

“I don’t know. I didn’t stay around long enough.” She answered truthfully, but Hux didn’t seem to buy her answer. 

 

“You mean to tell you traveled all the way back there, and noticed nothing? What were you, temporarily blind?” Rey’s temper shot up. 

 

“Excuse me, I didn’t come here to be your  _ spy _ ! I have no clue where they are going next, or if they even can.” Kylo crossed his fingers together, leaning closer to her. 

 

“If they even can?” He pressed on. Rey sighed heavily. 

 

“I don’t know, they aren't exactly in a position to pick up and move again.” Hux and Kylo made a silent exchange and the General nodded, quickly typing up something. 

 

“That’s what we needed to hear.” Her heart sank a bit. She still felt so wrong helping them...But...It was her decision to leave. She consciously chose to no longer associate with the Resistance. But what Rey really wanted was to just have Kylo one day reach a point where perhaps he could restore order...Without such a severe death toll. 

 

“If these pests didn’t try to tear down the Empire initially, we wouldn't be in this mess. The goal is order. If we had no order in this galaxy, what would we have, Rey?” Hux was trying to prove a point to her, she knew that. 

 

“Anarchy.” Rey sighed. 

 

“Yes, anarchy. We aren’t doing this to be the “bad guys”. We are ultimately doing this for peace. The Rebellion, the Resistance,  has spent so many years trying to destroy every effort we make. Who does that make the bad guy now?  They’ve brainwashed all of you.” 

 

Rey said nothing. The more time she’s spent here, the more horror stories she’s heard of the Resistance. It just sounded like a constant tug of power between the groups.  The silence amongst the three stretched on until Hux broke it. 

 

“Who was that strange man accompanying you at lunch?”  Rey nearly laughed at this. 

 

“Cedric? We work together. Er, he works for me I suppose.” Kylo frowned and she felt an odd sensation come off him that she remembered from a few weeks back. Was this jealousy? Or annoyance? 

 

“Cedric...Cedric…” Hux quickly typed his name and searched into a database, pulling up a background check. 

  
“Hmm.” Was the only thing that left him as he scrolled through his profile. 

 

“What? What does it say about him?” Rey was interested now. 

 

“Not your business, is it?” Kylo snatched the datapad before Rey grabbed it and she huffed. He could be so overbearing sometimes.

 

“He’s got no background in electrical engineering, why is he placed there?” Kylo asked. Hux and Rey could sense the irritation rolling off him in waves. 

 

“No one really did, I’ve been training them, Kylo.” Rey grumbled back. Kylo crossed his arms tightly over his chest. 

 

“Hux, can you give Rey and I a few minutes alone?” Hux nodded and excused himself. She watched as he left to go into the room on the other side of them, presumably Kylo's private office. He shut the frosted glass door behind him. 

 

“Rey, I understand that this may feel difficult. I won’t ask you to join us when we engage.” Kylo placed his hand over hers, the first time they had touched since the day they both collapsed by each other. 

 

Much to her own surprise, it felt genuine from him. She didn’t yank her hand back, but she let him giver a light squeeze and pull back. 

 

“I’ll let you know...I am not quite sure yet.” Rey allowed herself to be open with him, in this moment, and she felt a small tear prick in her eye. She quickly rubbed it before it had the chance to fall. She inhaled sharply  and he brought his hand back. 

 

“Next week I am going to begin training you on the side. I am going to finish what Luke failed to do. I am going to be hard on you, I will push you the same as I would push my knights.” Rey nodded. She would accept this training. She welcomed it even, it would be a distraction to her. He stared at his hand for a few seconds, before he re-extended it to gently wipe the stray tear. 

 

His thumbpad brushed against her soft cheek, and she closed her eyes. It was an intimate moment that she had not experienced with someone before. The feeling that someone was truly there. Perhaps Kylo Ren was not a monster. Maybe he was just misunderstood. 

 

He pulled his hand back and said nothing more on the matter, and neither did she. 

 

“Hux, you’re free to join us once more.”

* * *

 

**A/N: Aha! How did you like that they finally had a meaningful interaction? I figured it was time to start slowly building some sort of tension between the two. I am in LOVE with your guy's reaction to this story, I can't believe how well its been received. I definitely am hearing you guys out and working on maintaining building background interactions and keeping Rey in check.**

**Thanks so much for reading! And I hope you like the music I'm including, I am listing the music I write the chapters to!**


	6. Hardwired

 

Song Rec- Capricious  (Places Remix) by Crooked Colours

* * *

  
  


**Hardwired**

  
  


“Again.” 

 

Rey panted harder, sucking in as much air as possible as she lunged forward, attempting to strike her opponent once more with her staff. Every single hit was blocked, his movements were lithe, fast. Rey grunted and stumbled back as his pressed further into her. Their training today was purely restricted to physical strength. No force use. Rey was slightly disadvantaged here. She never trained solely focusing on bodily movement or strength training. He landed a blow between her shoulder blade as she turned to duck. 

 

“Ah fuc-” She quickly ducked to avoid being hit again. Kylo hadn’t even broke a sweat and she felt like she was under the sun on Jakku in the middle of summer. Rey gritted her teeth and lunged back, managing to slightly push him back, but in her haste, he swung his leg out and she flipped flat on her back. A choked gasp escaped her lungs as the wind left her and she lay sprawled on the ground. 

 

When he said he wouldn’t go easy on her, he most definitely meant it. He walked over and squatted down low, leaning over. 

 

“Are you finished? That was fifteen minutes. Quite pathetic if you ask me.” Rey chose to ignore his petty remark and flipped over on her stomach. She heard a low chuckle and he took both their staffs and set them on the wall. She shut her eyes to avoid the bright lighting of the training room. 

 

The black mat she was laying on was actually not that uncomfortable, in fact, she could just lay here actually. Not moving. Kylo took the toe of his boot and nudged it into her side. 

 

“Get up.” Rey ignored him. 

 

“Let’s go, Rey.” Nothing. 

 

“I will physically remove you from that mat if you do not remove yourself immediately.”  She stirred. 

 

“Fuck off.” Was the only response he garnered from her. Rey was a combination of sweaty, tired, and hungry. Quite possibly the three things that put her in the worst mood.  Kylo cursed under his breath and leaned down, swiping her off the ground. Rey’s eyes shot open and she immediately flipped herself off his shoulder and kicked his legs out from beneath him. He fell flat on his back and looked at her in shock. 

 

“Did you just…” He was speechless. Rey had pretended to not get up and allowed him to be in a vulnerable position so she could ambush him. He was impressed more than anything, but disappointed in himself for not considering that weak moment. 

 

Kylo sat up on his elbows and watched as her exhausted expression broke out into a smirk. Rey was incredibly proud of herself. He pushed himself off the ground and walked over to here, looming above. She looked up at him and her smirk did not falter. 

 

“Good.” Was all he managed to say before turning to walk out of the training room. Rey ran over to catch up and quickly fixed her braid, tightening it as she left the room. As they were walking down the hall they ran into a few storm troopers who reported to Kylo that their security rounds were going well. She noticed for the most part they didn’t try to interact with him as much as possible. It certainly musn’t be because he’s not nice, Kylo Ren was simply the sweetest soul in the galaxy. 

 

“Very funny, Rey. Keep those thoughts to  _ yourself _ .” Kylo chimed in outloud, criticizing her thought.Rey occasionally liked to project thoughts like that, it was humoring to her to mess with him. He probably didn’t find it as amusing as she did, but she had no plans to stop messing with him any time soon. 

 

“Hey Rey!” Cedric stopped Rey, waving over to her. He was busy repairing a light above them. Iren should’ve been there to help him, which Rey noted to mention to her the next time. 

 

“Cedric, how is it going?” Before Rey could respond she heard Kylo clear his throat. Cedric drained of color momentarily. He scrambled down his ladder and quickly bowed. 

 

“Supreme Leader Ren, my apologies.” Kylo looked down at him and said nothing. Rey assumed it was some male alpha/beta thing to demand acknowledgment. Cedric looked back over to Rey and smiled. 

 

“Rey, are we still grabbing food today?” Rey smiled and nodded. 

“Sure, catch you later, Cedric.” She waved and walked off, Kylo in tow. He frowned. 

 

“You are not supposed to treat them as equals, Rey, they work for you.” Rey suppressed the urge to roll her eyes into the back of her skull. 

 

“Would you rather be feared or respected by those who work beneath you?”  Kylo blinked, wondering if this was some sort of trick question. 

 

“Feared. It’s not my job to be their friend, it’s their job to work for me.” Rey shook her head at his answer and sighed. 

 

“Fear will not always lead to compliance. This is why people stage mutinies or overthrow governments-” Kylo waved his hand at her. 

 

“I don’t remember asking you for help on how I run  _ my  _ people.”  Rey let it go for now. There was no way she would ever be able to convince this man in one simple sitting that he doesn’t know how to effectively run his own order. Rey wondered if she were to ask some people on the ship for the true opinion on him what she would get. 

 

Did he help these people? Give them a purpose? Or was he too much of a… Her mind stopped in its tracks. He wasn’t awful. He was just...not very friendly. Perhaps displaying emotion was difficult for him. 

 

Kylo started doing his rounds now, checking in on different parts of his ship. He checked in on the deck crew, the pilots, even some of the patrol troopers. She found this interesting, she hadn’t normally seen him actually check  in on things himself. 

 

“Snoke was never physically around. You can only do so much remotely. I intend to involve myself more. See to it that things are run properly, myself. That was his weakness in my eyes.” Kylo spoke softly now to Rey. He placed his hands behind his back in a contemplative manner and waited for her to acknowledge what he said. 

 

“Do you believe you had the chance to achieve your goals more efficiently? Inserting yourself everywhere?” He nodded. 

 

“As I said, you can only do so much with your influence remotely. Think of it like a force bond. You can communicate, even project yourself in some cases but you can not see the entire surroundings. You are not there to see  _ everything.  _ He lead blindly.” She could hear the malice in his tone. 

 

Snoke did a number on him. Rey sometimes wondered what it was like, to have had someone constantly in the back of your mind, forcing you to complete some of the worst tasks. 

 

According to Luke, Kylo had been manipulated since childhood. Killing Snoke must have been like severing an anchor from your body. Though, Rey wondered what change it actually made. He still had anger in him. She could feel it. 

 

She wished it was gone. 

 

Rey noticed Ivan down the hall, she scrunched her nose. He was supposed to be working below deck, they were having issues with some of the air conditioning down there. She left Kylo who was preoccupied with Phasma, who had just contacted him.

 

“Ivan, didn’t I assign you a shift now?” Rey asked, walking over the man who was conversing with another crew member. It was a girl who worked in the combat department, specifically the one who designed the First Order’s armor. The small blonde smiled at her, Rey believed her name was Quinn. 

 

“I forgot. Not like it matters anyway, you haven’t even been around for a few days.” He huffed out, frowning at her. She assumed he was acting up to impress Quinn, which was a ridiculous choice of impression in Rey’s eyes. 

 

“That’s fascinating, I take it you can’t read a schedule at, what, 21? If you needed extra help you should have asked me.” Rey’s tone was curt and restricted. She was so tired of the disrespect Ivan gave her on the daily. 

 

“You know what I find fascinating? How you can’t properly manage a team of, what, three?” He snapped back, leaning forward in her face. She watched his face freeze and immediately retracted back in his spot. 

 

“I-I, I’m sorry, Rey, I shouldn’t have been so disrespectful.” Ivan’s previous tone of arrogance had melted. Quinn immediately bowed. 

  
“Supreme Leader Ren.” She said, almost in a whisper. Ivan nervously glanced at his feet. Kylo looked at the nametag on Ivan’s chest. 

 

“1196, this is not where you are stationed. Get to work.” The numbers sounded alien to Rey’s ear for a moment, before she remembered that numbers were names around here. Unless you asked. 

 

“My apologies, once again.” He snapped his hand to his forehead and quickly left. 

 

“1132, status report on the new armor.” Phasma had walked up now, Rey assumed after the call she made to Kylo they were meeting up. 

 

“We’ve been working on further improving the thermoregulation of the trooper suits, as well as the durability of the surface. The goal is to get them as close to blaster resistant as possible.” Quinn responded, taking out her datapad and displaying the prototypes they had created. 

“Nice work, 1132. Ren, let’s meet back in the control room, I’ve got some updates on how the base is coming along.” Kylo nodded and began to take his leave with Phasma. Rey found it interesting that Phasma addressed him with no honorific. She must have a very high level of respect from him. 

 

“Rey, you’re in charge of the electrical department, right?” Quinn asked. Rey assumed she was just trying to start casual conversation. 

 

“Yes, and you are the head creator for armory, correct?” Quin hummed in response and gently took Rey’s arm to lead her over the the armory development room. 

 

“Here, I’d love to show you what we’ve came up with.” Rey never had the chance to actually get to know Quinn, but she always found that she was a rather sweet woman. Perhaps this could be a new friend for Rey? She needed more people outside of well, Hux, Kylo, and Cedric. Rey felt her heart swell a bit. She’s never had a female friend before. 

 

Quinn and Rey chatted absentmindedly as Quinn gave her the run around in the department. It was coming upon noon, and nearly time for Rey to grab a quick bite before she needed to shower and meet Hux for a quick run down on some questions she had regarding the First Order. Her days were always jam packed with activity here.

 

“Hey, do you want to grab a bite?” Quinn asked, finally breaking Rey from her deep thoughts. 

 

“Sure, I’m starved.” Rey replied, jokingly poking her stomach. 

 

“I’ve really been wanting to get to know you, Rey. It gets boring having pretty much only male friends.” Rey smiled. 

 

“I understand that feeling.”

* * *

**A/N: Hey friends! OMG, I am forever in debt for the support you all are giving me! I am so glad to be able to share this story with new (!) and old Reylo fans. I hope it makes you only love them more. Also, that chapter word count is only going up and up so get ready for much longer chapters in the future as we get past the intro arc! I hope you guys don't mind me slowly building more characters into Rey's life, I don't want her to life to only consist of Ren and Hux.**

 

**Anyways! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and Rey's new friend, Quinn!**

 


	7. Staying Up

Song Rec- Kill Our Way to Heaven by Michl

* * *

 

**Staying Up**

 

Rey never experienced night terrors before. Of course, she had the occasional nightmare, but nothing like this. However, tonight, she was thrashing and screaming. Her limbs ached as she continued to twist her body into the sheets. Her sheer panic was enough to alert Kylo through their bond. He decided if the terror continued, he would go and check on her.

 

_“Finn! Stop! Stop! Please!” She watched as Finn’s wicked smile grew deeper and he grabbed her lightsaber from her hand, bringing it over her. But his expression flashed to something else in the corner of his eye. It was Kylo._

_“Rey?” Kylo stepped over, searching for her. He couldn’t see her, or Finn, he was blindly searching.  Finn chuckled darkly and spun, striking down Kylo. His lifeless body dropped down into the snow, the blood pooling around him._

 

“KYLO!” This time, she awoke, screaming. Sweat dripped off her forehead and onto the sheets. She heard her door burst open and a disheveled Kylo appeared. He was in a wrinkled white t shirt and black slacks, she clearly had woken him up.

 

Never in Rey’s life did she think she would ever be so relieved to see Kylo Ren. He quickly strode over and knelt beside her.  Without thinking of her next move, she lurched forward and held onto his neck tightly.

 

Kylo did not move for a minute, in shock over the sudden affection. Slowly, he brought up his hands, unsure of where to place them. He settled on her upper back and pulled her closer. He felt quiet sobs rack her small body. He knew that whatever she had dreamt of, clearly was horrible enough to elicit such a strong reaction from her. She buried her face into his neck and he felt hot tears on his skin.

 

Never in Kylo’s life  had he ever imagined he would be comforting Rey. Or anyone for that matter. No one even wanted to get close to him. Not physically, not emotionally. He felt something tighten in his chest, and his throat felt like it was closing.

 

“I-I’m sorry.” Rey croaked out, slowly pulling back. His arms fell to his side and he watched as her small body retraced back into the comfort of her bed. She pulled her sheets up closer to her neck and sat back, wide eyed and half scared to death.

 

Rey spent many nights of her life alone. She had handled many nightmares by herself, but nothing had made her feel quite like this dream had. She didn’t even think twice to question Kylo’s presence. In this exact moment, she needed it. She needed someone near her.

 

“I can’t sleep again. There’s no way.” Rey quietly whispered, voice muffled by the blankets covering her mouth. Kylo glanced at the time. It was two in the morning.

 

“What happened? I couldn’t see…” Kylo trailed off, his curiosity getting the best of him. Rey let out a shaky sigh.

 

“I don’t think-I don’t think I can repeat it out loud…” Rey slid her hand next to his, offering the memory to him. He set his hand carefully over her much smaller, shakier one. He closed his eyes and focused on her energy.

 

It all flashes quickly into his head. Her pain, her fear. He saw Finn. He saw himself now. Kylo flinched internally as he watched himself fall over,  killed by Rey’s former friend. He withdrew his hand from Rey’s and she watched him intently. Kylo didn’t know what to say.

 

“Rey, I...I would never allow that to happen.” She closed her eyes and wiped away partially dried tears.

 

“I don’t know why, it just feel so...So real.” Her breath caught in her throat after each word. She felt her fear slowly start to wind down. Just seeing him was enough to confirm this dream wasn’t real.

 

In that moment, in that split second of sheer panic and calm, Rey realized something for the first time in the near month she had spent with Kylo.

 

She cared about him.

 

She cared deeply for this man.

 

And as she watched him come to her side tonight, she wondered if it could possibly be mutual.

 

Kylo stood up. She had started to close her eyes. The dream must have exhausted her. He reached the doorway when he heard a sleepy, gentle voice call out.

 

“Don’t leave, please.” He turned around in surprise. She was sitting up now, watching him. He walked back.

 

“Stay.” Was all she said before drifting back once more. His presence was calming to her. She felt...Safe, secure even.

 

He looked around. Unsure of where to go. He didn’t feel comfortable getting into her bed. He leaned over and grabbed the leather desk chair and pulled it up into a corner next to her bed. He sat himself down and leaned back, deciding to spend his night sleeping there.

 

Kylo had never in his life spent the night with anyone.

 

(line break)

 

Rey awoke the next morning to a chair placed in her corner. She blinked in confusion, rubbing her sleepless eyes. She wondered briefly why the chair was moved into the corner until she slowly pieced more together as she became more alert.

 

Ah.

 

Last night flashed back into her mind and she remembered everything. He must have spent the night sleeping in that chair.

 

She felt her cheeks burn a bit, an odd sensation she had not felt around anyone before. She shook her head and stood up, making her bed and getting ready for the day. She looked over at her clock. It was eight in the morning.

 

Rey had only fifteen minutes before she had to meet Quinn for breakfast. She quickly braided her hair and ran a toothbrush vigorously through her mouth, spitting as she finished her braid. She felt her  travelpod beep and she quickly opened the notification.

 

**KYLO REN**

_I won’t be around today, training. Are you alright?_

 

Rey almost thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. She was not used to people checking in on her. Especially him. But she welcomed it. In fact, reading that message, she had an odd sensation building in her stomach. It was almost like feeling nervous...But she wasn’t. She couldn’t quite place the feeling, but it wasn’t unpleasant.

 

**Rey**

_I’ll be alright. Thanks for everything._

 

She silenced her travelpod and finished getting ready, grabbing her bad and dashing out the door.  

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, Rey.” Quinn waved her over, tapping the seat  next to her. Rey smiled and sat down. Quinn had snagged Rey some eggs before they were gone.

 

“So, I have some questions. If we are going to be friends let’s get to know each other.” Rey nodded and chewed on her food.

 

“Where are you from?” Rey swallowed her food and wiped off her mouth.

 

“I’m from Jakku, I really did not do anything remarkable but occasionally fix some cars or repair technology.”

 

“Is your family apart of the First Order as well?” Rey shook her head.

 

“I don’t have family.” Rey answered, trying to keep the emotion out of her tone. Quinn placed her hand over Rey’s and gave her a knowing look.

 

“I’m an orphan too.” Familiarity washed over Rey. She solely met anyone else in her situation.

 

“Can I ask how?” She watched Quinn’s normally friendly demeanor darken.

 

“The Resistance murdered them...My parents were making a deal on Canto Bright when the Resistance stepped in and killed them. They didn’t even hesitate...My parents were peaceful people. All they wanted to do was order supplies.” Quinn’s voice broke at the end. Rey’s heart sank.

 

Everything she thought she knew about the Resistance just seemed...Wrong now. The more people she spoke to her the more and more she realized.

 

These were not terrible people.

 

War is war.

 

“I’m so sorry, Quinn.” Rey squeezed her hand and Quinn gave her a tight smile.

 

“That’s why I do what I do. To honor my family.  It’s what makes me sleep at night.”

 

They continued talking about their personal lives and bonded. Quinn and Rey spoke for nearly two hours when eventually Rey had to excuse herself for a meeting. Rey took out her travelpod and shot off a message to Hux.

 

**Rey**

_Are you free to  meet? I have some questions._

 

**Hux**

_I’ve got a break now._

 

**Rey**

 

_On my way._

 

* * *

 

“I need you to tell me what the Resistance has done.” Hux looked up at her from the mountain of files on his desk. He leaned back in surprise and motioned for her to take a seat.

 

“What do you want to  know?” Rey wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted to know. But she _wanted_ to know.

 

“How many people are here because the Resistance murdered their family?” Brendol Hux thought for a moment before getting up to sort through his file cabinet. He pulled out death record and slid them across the glass desk to her.She opened the files and immediately scanned the numbers. She felt disgust fill  in her stomach. It pained her to think of all these people on board that have gone through life without parents.

 

She knew the feeling.

 

She endured the abuse of not only the sun, but Unkar Plutt. Rey’s disgust switched into something else.

 

Anger.

 

She was _mad_ for what the Resistance has done. Hux watched her as she flew through page after page.

 

“Violence was never our original intent in the First Order. It was structure. The Resistance surfaced and every since we’ve been through violent wars, cycling over and over again.” Rey said nothing, just listened and took the information in. He handed her another file.

 

“We intercepted this order once.” She took the folder and opened it.

 

* * *

 

**GENERAL LEIA ORGANA**

**ORDER 8807 ***

 

APPREHEND BEN SOLO/KYLO REN, IF DEATH IS NECESSARY, CARRY OUT.

 

* * *

 

Rey blinked.

 

“There’s no way this is real.” Hux shook his head.

 

“Intercepted this message earlier this week. I suppose Leia has lost faith in that son of hers.” Rey reread the message over and over again.

 

“Have you showed Kylo?”

 

“No. I don’t think I will either. War is strategy, I can’t allow his feelings or personal vendettas to intercept with plans.” Rey’s heart sank. Never did she picture Leia believing that her son… That her son should be executed.

 

Rey decided something in that moment.

 

No matter what she had to do. Who she had to face.

 

Ben Solo would not die.

 

“Is there anything else I can give you?” Hux asked, picking up the files that Rey had sifted through. She shook her head.

 

“No, I don’t need anymore proof to see that the Resistance is not what it claims to be.” She stood up, excusing herself from his office. Hux watched as she left. He was amazed she came to terms with this entirely on her own.

 

Hopefully it made it easy, for if the time were to ever come, she could face her past counterparts.

* * *

**A/N: I decided after about 10,000 words it was an appropriate time to start forging a more...*ahem* intimate relationship with Kylo Ren, as well as a slow build to an** **allegiance with the First Order.** **Also, I will be seeking a beta soon... I just don't know if anyone would want to work with me, my schedule is weird...Maybe I could have someone beta the previous chapters though....That would be great...**

 

**Anyways, hope you liked the progression of this chapter and story! :)**

 

******LAST NOTE: Did anyone catch on to Order 8807? It was a presidential executive order in America that allowed the development of war related advances...Kinda a nerd...**


	8. Bloom

**Song Rec- Fear of the Water by SYML**

* * *

 

**Bloom**

Rey had a task. Her task was to go to Naboo and make sure the First Order’s base was coming along. Hux had explained to Rey that Naboo once prospered  under  the Galactic Empire, Palpatine had instituted part of the planet to host the Empire. For many years they established their presence alongside some of the natives. It wasn’t until Leia had shown up and caused disruption. Asking for help from the natives and former Naboo government. Catching wind of this, the Empire strikes back, cause disarray to the planet, making it inhospitable for a time. Now, nearly three decades after the traumatic period, the planet is thriving. The ecosystem is balanced, and no one resides there currently.

 

Rey was excited. She had only heard stories of the great planet of Naboo. The scenery was beautiful, the planet itself hosted so much life and promise. She briefly wondered if it would be so peaceful there the First Order would never want to leave. She finished packing her things and turned off the lights in her small grey room. It would be so nice to leave The Finalizer II and finally live on ground again.

 

Hux would be accompanying her on this mission. Kylo had to stay with Phasma and approve the new armor designs as well as teach the stormtroopers how to use some of the new equipment that arrived in their weapons shipment last week. Rey secretly wished Kylo would have came as well, but she knew as the new Supreme Leader, his life would be far too busy now for simple planet visits. Though, to this day, she was not entirely sure why he had came to the weapons deal on Canto Bright.

 

Kylo ordered Hux to accompany Rey, due to his growing concern over her own safety. Of course, if she had to, she could defend herself. But, what he would not admit outloud was he was nervous for her. After seeing her in such a vulnerable state concerning the nightmare she had…

 

Kylo stood up from his disheveled bed and paced around his quarters. He wished he could go with her, but he couldn’t. What if she awoke again, petrified? Would Hux calm her down? Could he calm her down like he had?

 

He nervously pulled a few strands of hair as he continued to pace in long strides. She could handle herself. Hux wouldn’t have to intervene. They would only be gone for a day or two max. He had to stop overthinking things. Maybe it was a good idea for her to be away for a bit, that way he could get as much work done as possible. Besides, if he truly needed to know how things were going, he could contact Hux.

 

A fleeting thought passed through Kylo’s mind, seering his mind for a hot second. He couldn’t quite place the feeling but it was a twist in his gut. He had envisioned Hux getting a little too comfortable with Rey…

 

Ren ignored it and walked over to his personal desk and yanked his chair out to sit down and get on his computer. His eyes scanned over documents and messages he had, searching for the travel itinerary that Hux had sent him. Kylo let out a rough sigh. There was no way he could take two days off. He shut his computer off and shook the thought off him. He’s the Supreme Leader of the First Order, not a love struck fool. It was time to start the day and ignore these pestering thoughts.

* * *

 

Hux focused on getting his ship to kick into hyper-speed while Rey went over their supplies, ensuring they packed enough food for the trip.

 

“We have to report back the second we land, or I fear Kylo might wring my neck out.” Hux mused, shifting the gears of the ship. Rey quirked a small smile and turned around, facing away from Hux. He must have asked Armitage to make sure they were in one piece when they landed.

 

“What’s so funny?” Hux asked, peering over to the girl to his right. Rey chuckled and picked up a can. She spun the lid and dipped her finger into the white cream.

 

“This is filled with moisturiser, Hux. Food, not beauty supplies.” Hux rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the front of the ship.

 

“It is not a crime to take care of appearance. You should try it for once.” Rey’s jaw dropped and she threw the can at Hux’s head.

 

“Ow! Oh, real mature, Rey.” He huffed out, supplying rubbing circles onto his ginger locks. She laughed and grabbed the can, placing it back into the duffel bag.

 

“What a shame we had to wait this long to relocate to this planet.” Hux said, finally breaking the silence. Rey looked up at him thoughtfully, muling over what he had told her earlier.

 

“So, the Empire had a semi-hold of the planet and coexisted with the natives right? Why were they so quick to help the Resistance or former Rebellion?” Rey asked, fiddling with some of the cans in the bag.

 

“They're convincing. Probably used fear-mongering to get the government to turn. It’s a shame, really. Whenever the Empire had done anything, they sought retaliation, regardless if it impacted them. A true nuisance.”  He sneered, crossing his hands behind his back and thinking back to all the atrocities his father had to deal with. The Resistance truly has put them through hell and back for generations.

 

“It’s time for Leia to let go,” he continued, slowly turning around,”it’s more than time for her to let the past die.”

 

Rey had heard that line before. Let the past die.

 

“That statement is ironic.” Rey snorted, crossing her arms. Hux took a seat back into the captains chair and mimicked her body language.

 

“How so?” He asked incredulously.  Rey shook her head and sighed.

 

“Is the First Order not a carbon copy of the Galactic Empire?” Hux nearly laughed.

 

“No, Rey. There is a difference between letting the past die and improving it, by _leagues._ The Galactic Empire failed through the rise and fall of many leaders that had potential but didn’t reach it. There was no order. Just chaos.”

 

“Would you consider it a failure as a whole?” She asked curiously.

 

“No, I would consider it a base. Without the Galactic Empire we wouldn’t have where we are today. If anything, we’d probably be under the uncalculated and disorganized rule of the Resistance.”

 

Rey bit into a protein pack they had and mixed some water in. Hux looked over at her, appalled by what he saw. Which was the image of Rey hunched over, eating food with her bare hands.

 

“My god, have you no etiquette? Rey, get a fork, or a spoon, anything besides your grubby hands.” He sifted through the bag looking for a plastic utensil to hand to her. Rey nearly choked out a laugh at him. He was so tightly wound about everything.

 

“Oh yeah, I seem to have left my fork up your ass, if you want to remove it feel free.” Hux frowned at her and turned around.

 

“That joke was not funny.” Rey laughed.

 

“Yes it was. General Stick-up-Ass.” Hux signed and chose to ignore her.

  
“Between you and Kylo, I feel like I babysit you both.” Rey rolled her eyes.

 

“Okay, dad.” In an odd way, there were times that Rey felt Hux to be almost a father figure to her. He was roughly ten or so years older, so he did have some seniority, but she did look up to him. Hux taught her so much of what she knows now about the First Order and the Resistance. She owes a lot to him.

 

“Kylo seems to have a bit of a grip on things though…” Rey tried to make her tone even, and as nonchalantly as possible now when she mentioned Kylo. She didn’t want Hux assuming anything. Hux nodded.

 

“Indeed, in that case, perhaps I am only babysitting you.”

 

Hux leaned back in his seat and prepared for landing as they neared Naboo. Rey shot up, excitedly looking out the windows.  

 

* * *

 

Rey immediately dropped to the ground, her hands reaching out to touch the tall grass. It slipped in between her fingertips as the breeze sifted through. The air was crisp and the sun was warm, but not overbearing. Hux watched Rey closely as she stood up and continued dragging her fingertips through the grass blades. He watched as her attention quickly transferred over to the next fascination. A series of spring water cascading around them. The sound of rushing waves crashing into larger bodies of water lead to the soft trickle of the stream near them.

 

Rey was absolutely enamoured.

 

“It’s...It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.” Her eyes lit up in a way he had never seen before. It was a look of pure joy and appreciation for what was around her.

 

“We decided to build our base south of here, we didn’t want to cause a disruption to the heart of the ecosystem.” Anything Hux was saying fell deaf on Rey’s ears. She closed her eyes and listened to the quiet hum of the birds around them. The sound of the water, the wind, it was absolutely astounding. Never in Rey’s twenty plus years of existence had she experienced a planet so beautiful.

 

“Ren’s grandmother, Padme...she was the Queen of Naboo in her prime.” Rey looked over at Hux now, her attention shifted by the gravity of what he had just said.

 

“No way.” Hux closed his eyes and nodded.

 

“Padme was an advocate for peace. His grandfather, Anakin, or better known to us as Darth Vader, as you can imagine, felt differently.” Hux leaned next to the edge of the water, filling his canteen with some of the cleanest drinking water in the entire system. Rey watched as he took a swig, the water trickling down his pale neck. She sat next to him and brought out her hands, dipping them into the stream and drinking from her palms. This time, Hux said nothing.

 

“Too bad he didn’t take more after his mother.” She chuckled, wiping beads of water off her mouth. Hux gave her a tight smile.

 

“His mother lost control of her own government...That is something we can only hope Kylo didn’t take after.” Rey filled her own canteen now and stood up.

 

“All right, so, this base of ours?” Hux stood up and pulled out his travelpod.

 

“We’ll have to take the ship and fly about ten minutes south.” They walked back to Hux’s aircraft and set it to drift. There was no rush this time. Rey drank slowly from her canteen, in efforts to preserve her water source.

 

“One day, I hope we can reach a point where war is no longer necessary.” She spoke, ending the silence that had been under for a few moments. Hux sighed.

 

“One we can get the Resistance under control, that is the ultimate goal. To exist in a galaxy where war is not constantly ravaging it.” Rey was nearly surprised to hear this, especially coming from the mouth of a General. Though, she imagined war for decades upon decades becomes exhausting.

 

“The thing about war, it never really changes. The purpose of it never shifts. It’s about control. Fighting for it or against it.” 

* * *

 

**A/N: Hey guys, in honor of passing 10K words and almost 10K VIEWS! I'd like to give you my email! I've already had the absolute pleasure of speaking to some of you and it's been lovely.**

**Email: kylorentheemooverlord@gmail.com**

***Want to chat, show me your story, be friends, or just discuss Holocene? Shoot me a message! (Tell me your username on here though)***

**ALSO! *** I am currently working out the Beta situation, I am going to have them sift through my other chapters so there might be a lull in posting. Thank you everyone for your feedback. Have no fear, the editing will be starting!**

**Super P.S: Is anyone good at drawing that would want to make art for this fic because I can't fucking draw.**


	9. Eternal

**Song Rec-  Drugs by Eden**

* * *

******Eternal**

  
  


After having the chance to check out the base on Naboo, that was under construction, Rey convinced Hux to walk around the fields once more. She wasn’t quite sure what drew her so heavily to this vast, lucious fields, but it almost felt like something was pulling her in. They walked amongst each other in silence, appreciating all that nature had provided. Rey watched as some of the smaller creatures darted past their feet, not afraid of the human presence. It must have been so long since they had any form of intelligent life amongst them. 

 

The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the grass and cascading waterfalls. Hux gently picked a wild flower, plucking it from the sea of others it came from. He passed it through his gloved fingers and removed one glove to touch the flower with a bare finger. 

 

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen such a vast ecosystem exist on a planet.” he mused gently, rolling the stem in between each fingertip. He took the yellow flower and placed it into Rey’s own curious fingers. She handled the plant with great care, afraid if she were to touch too much, it would wilt at any given moment. 

 

“This has been a long term project the First Order instated. Kylo was insistent we reverse the damages done to this planet. We weren’t sure why at first, but I have a feeling it might have to do with his grandfather and grandmother. Padme treasured this planet.” Hux said this while bending down to look at the array of flowers. 

  
  


Rey smiled gently. There was some good in the First Order. It wasn’t nearly as awful as the Resistance claimed so. What made her heart swell was the fact it was Kylo’s idea to restore this planet to its prime. Rey stopped herself for a moment.

 

No, this wasn’t Kylo’s idea.

 

It was Ben Solo’s idea.

 

“Flowers always fascinated me. Why gift something with such beauty that only dies in a week?” Hux’s question interrupted her thoughts and she turned her attention to him. 

 

“I don’t think beauty is eternal. It’s a representation almost.” Rey explained, twiddling the flower around in her hand.

 

“A representation of?” Hux asked, looking up at her, squinting his eyes against the sunset. Rey watched as the orange hues of the sunset deepened his own red locks. Hux was handsome in his own unconventional manner,, he had a matured look to him. His hair was an incredible contrast to the stark blue of his eyes, but his pale skin muted it so it isn't overbearing. Rey wondered briefly if Hux knew he was decent looking. Her mind drifted a bit, she wondered if…

 

Ben. Did Ben know he was devastatingly handsome as well? She felt a small blush creep on her face. These thoughts were not ones she was used to thinking or feeling. It wasn’t her fault.

Leave it to her to befriend two handsome, yet fearsome men. They were like the opposites to Finn and Poe, who, in her eyes, were handsome as well...just not feared. It didn't help that she had contempt for them either.

 

“Rey?” Hux was waiting on a response. She continued. 

 

“A representation of how beauty can be fleeting. Enjoy what is in the moment, looks are not forever.” Hux studied her expression as she spoke. He wondered how someone so wise could be so young. 

 

“I wish there was a way to bring some of these back.” Rey added, crouching down to join Hux in the admiration of the flowers. She leaned forward and inhaled deeply. She had never experienced the pleasure of flowers, certainly not on Jakku. She closed her eyes.

 

_ “Padme.”  _ A gentle whisper flew past her ear and she felt a brush of fabric on her back. Her eyes shot open and she stared wide eyed at Hux.

 

“Why did you just say that?” She asked, surprised. Hux blinked back at her in confusion.

 

“Say what?” He asked, not quite following what she was talking about. Rey rubbed the bumps on her arms. 

 

“Swear on your life you said nothing?” Hux nodded. Rey shook her head. 

 

“I-I don’t know, I thought I heard something, I guess it was just the wind.” Hux didn’t seem to believe her, but he decided to let the matter go. 

 

“We should get back to the ship now, it’s almost dusk.” Rey nodded and stood up, following Hux back to the ship to retire for the night. She still couldn’t shake the thought from her mind. She had definitely heard the voice of a male. 

 

* * *

 

That night Rey fell into a deep sleep. Her dreams consisted of something she didn’t understand. There were two people, sitting on a blanket in the middle of the fields of Naboo. They were in love. Rey could feel it. The way the young woman brushed her fingers gently on his arms. Her touches caused the man to smile, pulling the smaller woman into his arms. 

 

_ “It’s beautiful here, Padme.”  She smiled back.  _ Rey missed what else they had said and only caught the end of the conversation.

 

_ “I love you, Anakin.”  _

 

Rey could only piece parts of their conversation together, over the sound of the waterfall, the animals, and their win, the natural sounds of the planet over power their voices. In her dream, she walked closer to the couple. She knew who they were know. She knew the voice she heard earlier. But why did she hear it? Was it the force? Rey wasn’t sure. Before she could get closer, she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

 

_ “Rey? How are you in my dream?”  _ Rey spun around and saw Ben in front of her. She blinked in confusion. 

 

_ “Your dream? This was the voice I heard earlier.”  _ He stared at her, looking past her shoulder and back to her. 

 

_ “You heard him? He spoke to you?”  _ He was confused. He spent so much time trying to contact him, how could Rey…

 

_ “No, I only heard a whisper of Padme’s name… Was it a memory? Or...I’m not sure. I walk directly where they were and heard it.”  _ He nodded.

 

_ “It was almost as if you walked into a memory here, he must have projected it through the Force.”  _ Rey turned back to stare at the couple.

 

“ _ Maybe he’s projecting this dream to you? I wonder if they’d be proud this planet was restored by you.”  _ She smiled at Ben now,  watch his eyes flash down to hers. His eyes were so deep, she nearly forgot for a moment that they were in a dream together, and not in person. 

 

_ “I’m proud of you, Ben.”  _ He closed his eyes. It had been so long since he heard someone call him by his birth name. For the first time, he didn’t entirely feel like fighting it. A sense of comfort washed over him.

* * *

 

“Rey?” Hux’s voices drifted into Rey’s mind now, causing the scene to dissipate in front of her. The light of the sun flooded her vision as she awoke to a shock of red hair. She blinked a few times before groggily realizing where she was. Hux was preparing to head back to the Finalizer II. Rey felt her stomach drop. Her dream was so life like...The look in his eyes, his grandparents, his touch, everything. 

 

What if hadn’t actually been there? 

 

She called him Ben. 

 

Not Kylo. 

 

Hux shuffled about, packing some things here and there. He turned around and showed Rey a small container, placing it into her hands. 

 

“I managed to sneak a few…” She peered inside and saw some of the wild flowers. Rey gasped and looked back up. 

 

“How will you be able to maintain them?” Hux smiled. 

 

“I thought that was the beauty in them, Rey? They don’t last.” Rey shut the lid and laughed.

 

“Who knew the bad guys could be so soft?” She teased gently, handing the container back. Hux tutted. 

 

“No such thing as good or bad in war.” Rey shrugged. Perhaps he was right. No matter what side you ask, it’s the other one that is the enemy. Some days she felt perhaps the First Order was the one that felt more favorable to her. 

 

The rest of the trip was silent. They hadn’t much more time until they landed back on the main ship. While it was nice to have taken that trip, it was a distraction from the looming event that would be soon to come.

 

She knew it was only a matter of time before she had to face her past. Anger flooded inside her once more. These were not terrible people that she was around. Leia didn’t need to murder her own son. He is not a monster. 

 

Rey came to many revelations  after her trip. One, being that he was Ben. Two, there are no “bad guys” just bad people. But her most important realization was something else. 

 

Her allegiance lies with the First Order now. 

 

Not the Resistance. 

 

As infamously put by the two closest people in her life, “let the past die”. 

 

And Rey intendedly on doing exactly that.

 

* * *

 

Rey arrived back on the ship. The second she got back she was swept into the whirlwind that was her life. Before she even had the chance to unpack, Cedric gave her the run down of all the tinkering that was gone in her absence, Quinn had run into her and told her of the new armory approval, Ivan complained, it was the usual. It was almost as if time had briefly stopped while she was away and resumed all at once. 

 

She enjoyed the familiarity of it all. She enjoyed how it made her feel like she had a place in all this chaos. After all of that had gone down, she finally had the chance to escape to her room and unpack her belongings in peace. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief and began to place everything in her drawers. That was another thing she couldn’t believe sometimes. She had her  _ own  _ room. An actual bed, a shower, and multiple sets of mainly black outfits. She gently touched the fabrics of all the clothes,  _ her  _ clothes. 

 

A knock at the door interrupted her and she lifted her fingers. 

 

“Come in.” She left her door unlocked, which Hux had spoken to her at least fifteen times about. 

 

“Rey.” Rey looked over and her heart stopped for a moment. It had been two days since she’d seen him last. 

 

“Say it again, please.” He walked over to her and enveloped her presence. Rey seemed to know exactly what he was referring to, not even having to ask. She watched as he took slow breaths to calm himself done. His shoulders rose and fell quietly, almost tensing.  His dark eyes were pleading with her own bright ones. 

 

“Ben.” 

 

That was all it took. He grabbed her in an urgency, wrapping his body around hers. He held her in such a manner, a way in which he feared he would never see her again. She accepted. Rey buried her face into his chest, allowing him to press her closer to his body. 

 

“Thank you.” Rey looked up at him. 

 

“For what?” He stared down at her, eyes nearly melting as she peered into them. 

 

“For no longer seeing me as a monster.” He held her tighter, each word a shaky breath leaving him. 

It was true. It was almost as if he could feel the change in her. The feeling was palpable. She had seen his vuneraltibites, and he had seen hers. They experienced each other in ways they hadn’t before.

Rey pressed her cheek back against his chest and closed her eyes.

It felt right.

* * *

 

**A/N: I** **hope you guys understand how excited I am that I finally get to start delving into their relationship. The progression was gradual, but here we go, the beginning of it ALL. NO KISS THOUGH... I thought about it, but decided it was too soon. Do not kill me *pleading eyes*I need her to have more of an attachment.**

 

**Also, thank you for all the emails, I am having a blast meeting some new friends!**

**Email: kylorentheemooverlord@gmail.com :)**

* * *

 


	10. Another Love

 

 Song Rec- Touch by Haux

* * *

 

**Another Love**

 

Rey was nearly sprinting down the hall to make it to the meeting on time. She was plenty used to attending an odd number of meetings here or there, but this one was very last minute.

 

And very unexpected.

 

She knocked on the door and waited patiently for the signal to come in.

 

“Captain Phasma, I apologize for being late.” Phasma waved her hand and Rey took a seat in the chair across from her desk. She sank into the leather seat and took a deep breath after quickly spilling the apology.

 

“You’re lucky this day is rather slow.” Phasma said lightly, reaching for her mug on her desk. Rey’s eyes immediately darted to a vase on her desk. Rey tried to contain the smile that was spreading like wildfire across her face.

 

“Those are beautiful flowers.” Rey said, motioning to the yellow flowers on Phasma’s desk. She watched as the odler woman akwardly cleared her throat and avoided eye contact with Rey for a brief moment.

 

Oh Hux.

 

Ever the gentleman.

 

“Yes, they are quite nice. Now, I called you here to discuss something with you.” Rey was not entirely sure what to expect, or why Phasma would need her.

 

“Kylo Ren will be tied up with his knights, prepping them as much as possible, so, I have been tasked with seeing you through your training.” Rey’s heart sank a bit. She secretly hated how busy he always was. However, she had respect for him. He was different. He wanted to be a hands on leader. Ben wanted to be present with those around him. She just hoped he could learn that respect is more important than fear.

 

Putting her disappointment aside, this was an opportunity to get to know Phasma better. Perhaps even get some details on her and Hux...What an interesting couple.

 

“Anyways, I brought you here to get more details on what your last training session was and where we can go from there.” Rey could never get over how analytical and methodical the First Order was. Everything had to be broken down to a science when it came to them.

 

“We were working on hand to hand combat, no force work.” Phasma nodded and ran a hand through her cropped blonde locks. She was thankful that there would be no force work, she had the opportunity to teach Rey more about physical combat and weapons.

 

“You would benefit from some lessons in weaponry. There will not always be a lightsaber available, in fact, last I heard you and Kylo managed to destroy yours.” Rey looked down and shrugged. Months ago when her and Kylo were knocked out on Snoke’s ship, they _had_ managed to destroy her working lightsaber.

 

“To my knowledge, you do not have a replacement. I will have someone from Quinn’s department work on that. In the meantime, it’s blaster training for you.” Phasma took out her datapod and sent a delivery notice off to Quinn as she spoke to Rey. The productivity rate of these people was mind blowing. There was never a second to be wasted. Rey nearly giggled out loud, wondering if these people had ever heard of a vacation.  

 

“When do we start?” Rey asked, watching as Phasma sent off about four more rapid fire messages. There was not even a second delay in her response.

 

“Now, get up. We don’t have time to waste.” Rey was not anticipating that they would be starting right this moment. She was hoping she could have at least ate lunch before hand, but, she was not about to argue with this force of a woman in front of her.

 

Rey had never been in the training arena that the troopers worked in. She had only been in Ben’s private training room. Phasma’s space was _insane._

 

She watched as soldiers jogged past them, around the outer track of the room. Other sets of stormtroopers were practicing long range targets or hand to hand combat. Rey saw an entire wall completely stocked on blasters, pistols, flame projectors, and other weapons she didn’t recognize.

 

“They train six days a week. Three hours a day. Isn’t it magnificent?” Phasma asked, stopping at the railing to peer down and watch the order of her troops. Rey thought their training sounded grueling but she was impressed. Seeing so many bodies move in such an orderly fashion with precision was a feat.

 

“It is. That’s a grueling regiment.” Rey commented, watching a team of troopers taking a five minute rest break. Phasma nodded.

 

“We’re here to train these men and women into weapons. Your body is capable of extreme endurance with the right training.” The captain began to walk down the stairs and led Rey down to one of the empty target rooms. She grabbed two blasters off the wall and set them on the table inside the room.

 

“We will begin with a series of close targets, then as your aim progresses, I will set them farther back.” Rey nodded and picked up a blaster. She watched first as Phasma took her aim and lined up her shots.

 

Every single shot hit the target.

 

Rey had a lot of work to catch up to.

* * *

 

 

After her weapons session with Phasma, Rey messaged Cedric to catch up and grab a quick bite. She was close to passing out after standing straight for two hours. She grabbed two trays and handed one to Cedric as she saw him come into the cafeteria. She immediately noticed how exhausted he looked. She frowned.

 

“Cedric, why do you look like you haven’t slept in two days?” He sighed heavily and shook his head.

 

“I’ve been picking up all of Ivan’s shifts…” He said quietly, staring at his feet. Rey’s stomach dropped.

 

“You- you’ve what? Why?” Rey asked, the anger in her chest flaring. Cedric shrugged.

 

“You’ve been so busy so he hasn’t been showing up and I didn’t want to bother-” Rey cut him off.

 

“Absolutely not. You are of no bother to me. I am going to take care of this the second I can grab a sandwich and then I can kick his ass.” Rey grumbled, snatching something from the to go section and storming off. Cedric ran behind her, anxiously trying to catch up.

 

“Please don’t tell him I told you, Rey! He will beat my ass!” Cedric’s black hair fell into his fluorescent, forest colored eyes as he tried his best to keep pace.

“Don’t worry, I can say that I saw the camera footage or something, I won’t say you said anything.” Rey assured him, rounding the corner and flying down the hall. Cedric stopped following and silently prayed to any deity out there that Ivan wouldn’t destroy him later.  Rey whipped her datapod off the table in her office and quickly scanned the schedule to see where Ivan was.

 

Perfect.

 

Rey practically beat the door down as she entered the Captain’s deck, throwing herself inside after the security guards let her in. She saw Ivan bent down behind a panel near the back of the deck. Rey didn’t bother seeing who was there at the time, her anger completely blinded her.

 

“Ivan! How many fucking times do I have to tell you to do your work?” Rey spat, causing Ivan to snap his attention over to her. It was seldom often that Rey ever swore, but when she did, it was rightfully so. Ivan stood up, glowering. How dare she interrupt him, _clearly_ working.

 

“What in the hell does it look like I am doing? Sitting on my ass?” He shouted back, intensifying her anger even further.

 

“How many times did you plan on having Cedric cover _your_ lazy ass!” Rey got in his face, unphased by him being physically larger than her. His blue eyes quickly turned into a sea of rage.

 

“How would you know anything, you are never around! Worst head of department on this whole fucking-” Rey had officially lost it. She pushed him into the wall, cutting his sentence off and shocking his system. He grunted as his back hit the metal wall and he pushed off, lunging forward.

 

“Arrest him for insubordination, now!” Rey heard Hux’s voice strain as he pointed to the guards to detain Ivan. Rey grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, shoving him back against the wall.

 

“If I ever see you in my department, so help me god, I will break your neck.” She seethed, twisting his arm farther. He gritted his teeth and gasped at the pain. The troopers dashed over, restraining him before he had the chance to lash out again. He glared at her as they dragged him out.

 

“Fuck you.” He spat, earning him a swift electric shock by one of the guards. Hux walked over to Rey.

 

“What in the hell was that?” He asked, eyes wide. Rey flexed her fingers after realizing they were still in the form of a fist.

 

“One of my team members. He’s given me absolute hell and I was tired of it.” Rey said, rubbing the fist that she used to hit Ivan with.

 

“You don’t think that perhaps there was another way to solve it than with violence?” Hux asked, looking around as the other staff members awkwardly looked around.

 

“Seemed fitting to me.” Hux and Rey turned around to see Phasma walk over. Phasma was no longer in her armor, but a simple white tank and olive green pants. Rey had never seen her without her suit on. Hux nodded at her, trying to keep it professional round Rey.

 

But Rey most definitely knew. However, for the sake of Hux, she decided to let him think that she didn't know. Phasma didn’t let on to the attraction either, but Rey knew fairly well what was going on.

 

“Where is Ren?” Hux turned to Phasma now, striking up casual conversation. Phasma shrugged.

 

“I’d assume he should be finished with training now. Rey, why don’t you go see where he is?” Phasma suggested, motioning that Rey leave now.  Hux watched as Rey wordlessly took her leave.

 

Rey had to quickly walk away in efforts to not give a cheeky smile to Hux. She would most definitely be speaking to him later. Rey left the deck, but when she walked out into the hall what she saw shocked her.

 

“Insubordination is not taken lightly.” Rey watched in horror as Ivan’s face turned an alarming shade of blue. Ben’s hand was slowly inching closer and closer into a fist.

 

“Stop!” Rey shouted, sprinting over and grabbing Kylo’s arm. He looked down in shock, though his grip had not relented. The guards looked to Kylo, as if to silently ask if they had to hold Rey back from interfering. The gurgling noises coming from Ivan’s throat were becoming extremely alarming to Rey.

 

“Please, B-Kylo, don’t.” Rey stopped herself before calling him Ben. He looked at her, torn between finishing what he started and listening to her.

 

He dropped his arm.

 

“Take him away, out of my sight. Let Phasma deal with him.” He growled. Ivan fell to his knees, gasping as the air came back to his lungs. His watery eyes looked up to Rey. She knew he would never thank her, and she didn’t want that. His eyes seem to express a look crossed between utter fear and gratitude. The troopers dragged him off, this time, Ivan did not fight them.

 

“Why did you do that?” Ben turned to her now, his expression painted with confusion. Rey sighed.

 

“He doesn’t deserve to die simply because he disrespected me.” He stared at her, expression blank.

 

“That is insubordination, Rey. We do not tolerate that here. I don’t know what the Resistance taught you but it is absolutely unacceptable here.” Rey shook her head, rubbing the back of her neck.

 

“I already punched him.” Ben stared at her in disbelief.

 

“You punched him?” He asked incredulously, crossing his arms across his chest. Rey gave him a tight lipped frown.

 

“I was taking care of business.” She muttered.

 

“Do you see me punching Hux across the face when he doesn’t listen to me?” Ben asked, starting to walk towards the Captain’s wing. Rey rolled her eyes and quickly grabbed his arm before he could walk in. He looked down at her, a puzzling expression waiting for her to explain.

  
“I think Hux and Phasma are…together.” Rey whispered, jabbing her thumb towards the deck. Ben blinked. He set his hand on her forehead.

 

“Are you feeling ill, Rey? You aren’t acting like yourself.” Rey’s jaw dropped.

 

“You don’t believe me?” She whisper shouted, leaning her head back, feigning mock hurt.

 

“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I’m positive that man has no feeling for anything.” He said flatly, ignoring Rey's further advances to convince him.

 

Unfortunately, Ren already knew that Phasma and Hux were a thing. He walked in on a scarring image of the two of them in the break room.

 

“Liar!” Rey hissed, catching the faint memory that he had tried to suppress. Ben pinched the bridge of his nose.  He didn’t want Rey to mention it or meddle in their business.

 

What was with people from the Resistance and their need to be so nosy?

* * *

 

**A/N: This was probably my favorite chapter to write so far. I bet I had you all fooled. You thought there was gonna be some cliche Hux and Kylo fall for Rey but Hux gets left out. Hell no. Hux deserves a woman for himself.**

**It's a wonder he wanted those flowers, right?? Also, I thought it would be funny to have Kylo try to cover for them. He can't lie to Rey to save his life.**

**ALSO HOLY SHIT! Over 500 Kudos, over 12,000 reads, and 200 comments all IN A WEEK! Y'all are WILDIN! I love you guys. I appreciate all the emails too! I have responded to them all! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.**


	11. Desire

**Song Rec- Wicked Game by Chris Isaak**

* * *

 

**Desire**

 

It was truly fascinating how fast progress was happening on Naboo. A team recently flew out and reported on the status. The base was coming along nicely, many of the builders were working overtime in order to complete as much as possible. Being without a base is straining on fuel reserves, though, it was only a matter of time before the base was completed. Rey was thrilled to be able to live full time on Naboo. She briefly wondered if the Resistance was still on Canto Bright. As soon as everything was finished with the base, it would be time to strike. Unlike the Resistance, the First Order didn’t rely on hope. They relied on numbers, analytics, and preparations. Everything was organized here, from the training, the scheduling, the building. Everything. Their work ethic began to rub off on Rey. She was scheduled now. Before she came here, it was all about winging things, nothing was absolute. But the First Order created a regimented version of herself. She was classically trained now, in weapons, in hand to hand combat. Though, she still needed more work on her force training. She had only began some of it with Luke, but that was in Jedi fashion.

 

Jedi and Sith force work were entirely unique. The Light side focused on healing and defensive abilities, while Sith work dealt with offensive powers. Rey was incredibly intrigued by an entirely new side of the Force. Hux had given her a few books recently, some ancient Sith texts.

 

Rey sat down at the table in her quarters, which she requested that Hux supply her with. Ever since she had completed her blaster training and hand to hand combat training, her next focus was the most exciting to her. Using the force power through the dark side. Ben told her that they would begin this within the next few days, and she found it hard to contain her excitement. She would always ask Hux what he was up to, hoping that one time he would say Ben had a free moment.

 

She flipped the worn out pages of the ancient sith text and went to a particular section that piqued her interest.

 

“The variations of the Force Hold…” She read aloud,  fingers tracing under the title. Force Grip, Force Choke, Force Crush. Rey was not aware there were variations, she had always assumed it was simply a hand motion, nothing more, nothing less. Her eyes feverishly flew through the rest of the page, landing on something that shocked her.

 

“Force sight?” She questioned, her eyebrows raised. It was essentially the same premise as the Force Hold...but it could be done through sight. Rey was amazed at the vast amount of abilities a dark user could possess. The more she learned, the more she realized how sheltered life was in the Resistance. No one was allowed access to the Jedi Texts, as Luke took them and refused to show them to anyone else. Here, all it took was a simple request to Hux. Knowledge was one of the most ultimate power of the universe. Ben was also a firm believer in this. He insisted that there be what he called a “library” on the next base. He claimed it would only push his people to excel, not only physically, but mentally.

 

Reading had become one of her passions. On Jakku she taught herself to read through books she had stolen from crashed ships. There was no way anyone else would have taught hre. She did everything by herself. Her eyes began to drift, lids drooping heavily. She rested her head on the large book...A few minutes wouldn’t kill….

_She heard a knock on her door and quickly made note of which page she left off on._

 

_She got up and open pressed the button to slide the doors back._

 

_“Are you free?” Ben walked in, his eyes immediately fell to the open texts on her table. He walked over and lightly dragged his fingers across the edges of the raised pages.  She sat back down and waited for him to join her._

 

_“Hux gave me these, I’ve been reading them for the past few days. It’s incredible.” Ben took one of the books and flipped it over to see the title. This particular book was entirely dedicated to the Sith Language._

 

_“The limitations to dark users are nearly invisible. Your powers are greatly expanded through the Dark Side.” Ben said, flipping through a few pages. Rey was absolutely enamoured with the possibilities that her force use could expand to._

 

_“The power of the Sith is very intoxicating, it feeds off desire, power, you crave the endless control.” He watched her hungrily flip through the pages. His chest swelled. Every day he felt her desire grow more and more for the dark  side. He felt it in their bond. He watched the light fade slowly. Ben knew that once she was fully enveloped with the dark, the Resistance stood no chance.  They would be obliterated._

 

_“Why does the Light side of the force have so many restrictions?” Rey asked, picking up the books and stacking them. Ben took a few and helped place them back._

 

_“It’s about balance with the force. Though, it does add insult to injury that the Light side is entirely about restriction.”_

 

_“You can never really achieve your full potential can you?” She asked quietly, looking up at him expectantly for an answer. He motioned down to all the texts._

 

_“Only when you embrace your desire for more.” He had such a sinful look in his eyes. His gaze nearly smoldered into hers. Rey had to look away, she felt a heavy blush spread across her face._

 

_“Rey, look at me.” He leaned across the table, hands planted firmly on the glass. Rey desperately wanted to avert her gaze. She hated that her made her feel so easy to read._

 

_“Look up...Or, I could simply look.” She knew he was referring to sifting through her very...Dark thoughts, to put it lightly. She looked up and stared at him for a few seconds before clearing her throat._

 

_“To answer your earlier question, yes I am free.” She quickly made a move to side step him. Rey was trying her absolute hardest not to let on too hard. She was terrified she was just reading him wrong. He leaned in, causing her back to hit the wall behind them. Ben leaned down, catching her lips in a deep kiss. His hands slid up the side of her body, causing her knees to feel weak._

 

Before she had the chance to slip further into her excitement, she felt her body jolt.

 

Rey?” She felt a sharp jabon her shoulder. She shot up, wiping off some drool on the back of her hand. She looked up at saw Hux across the table from her.

 

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

 

Rey frowned. It was all a dream. An extremely detailed dream. She groaned internally.  This was her second dream she had of...rather intimate feelings for Ben. She was grateful she had not seen him in a few days, or else she would’ve been a little preoccupied.

 

“Hux, what are you doing in here?” Rey’s voice was extremely groggy and she was trying to shake the feeling her dream left her. Hux stacked the books aside and slid her his travelpod. There was a message from Ben, asking Hux where Rey was and why she hadn’t shown up for training. Rey shot up.

 

“Shit, shit, shit!” She grabbed her own device and saw a missed message from Ben as well asking where she was five minutes ago. Hux crossed his arms and frowned.

 

“Leave now and he might forgive you.” Hux warned, walking out of the room with her. Rey thanked him and rushed as fast as possible to the training room. She couldn’t believe that it completely slipped her mind that she had something to do today. Oh, god. The worst part was it was foce work today. She hoped that he would stay out of her mind today. She slid down the hall and stumbled to a stop at the room, sliding her card in.

 

She walked into a sight she was more than shocked to see.

 

A shirtless Ben Solo mediating in the middle of an empty room.

 

Rey was screwed.

 

Absolutely screwed.

 

He opened one of his eyes and cautiously watched as she set her bag down and padded across the mats to sit in front of him. He opened his other eyes and waited for an explanation.

 

“I’m sorry, I fell asleep for a few minutes and I didn’t mean to-” He held up his hand.

 

“It’s five minutes of your time, not mine.” He sighed. Rey uncomfortably shifted.

 

“Can you...put a shirt on or something…” She muttered quietly, trying her hardest not to state. Ben quirked a brow.

 

“It’s part of your training.” He said lowly, watching her stir in front of him. She shot him a confused glance.

 

“How is you being shirtless a part of our training?” He leaned back on his palms and shrugged.

 

“Sith have the power to give in to desires or ignore them. The power of choice is what strengthens us.” Rey wanted to squeeze her eyes shut. He was too big of a distraction. Everything about him was, it didn’t help that he looked so...So perfect. His build was incredible, clearly all the training he undergoes certainly reflected onto that torso...and those arms…

 

“Rey, you’re distracted. Focus. We have a lot to cover today.” Ben recentered himself, placing his hands face up on his knees.

 

“First, we are going to focus on honing in on your emotions. You need completely emotional control in order to harness these powers. Think of what makes you angry, what drives you.” Rey closed her eyes and cleared her mind.

 

Her anger. She channeled that first. She focused on her childhood, her abandonment. She felt a quiet presence in her mind. Ben was feeling the anger radiate off her in crashing waves.

 

“Good, more.” He whispered out loud. She pressed further into her conscious. A familiar voice filled her mind.

 

_“Save it, you didn’t come back with Luke, you didn’t come back to even help in time. We lost countless bodies, Rey. Where were you?”_

 

Leia.

_“Traitor.”_

 

Finn.

 

_“Where were you all this time? We needed you.”_

 

Poe.

 

All these instances flooded her mind, the combined emotions from all these memories fueled Rey’s pit of rage. She felt contempt in her heart. All time times she was wronged. Ben’s presence flared in her mind.

 

“More. Your desires.” He demanded, pressing further. Rey's mind halted. Desires? She felt the memory of her dream resurface and she tried to shut him out as quickly as possible. His eyebrows knitted together.

 

“Let me in, Rey. You should have nothing to hide.” Ren fought back against her wall, refusing to allow her to keep him out. This was her training. He couldn't help her if he couldn’t see. She bit down on her lip and felt her head ache as she fought harder.

 

Another push.

 

Rey’s grasp slipped and she had no choice but to let go. The floodgates that were this morning’s dream bursted through. His presence seeped back into her mind, encasing everything at once. He saw it. She squeezed her eyes shut and sheepishly looked down at her feet.

 

Suddenly she felt nothing. He slowly retracted from her mind and struggled to keep his face impassive. He opened his mouth, as if to save something. She cut him off.

  
“You don’t need to say anything, it was just a dream, I-I don’t control them.” She nervously stumbled over her words in a rushed  attempt to explain herself. She was entirely embarrassed.

 

“Can you please say something?” She quietly pleaded  after a long stench of uncomfortable silence. He stared.

 

“No.” Rey’s heart sank. She quickly stood up and went to leave. Of course she was wrong to believe he actually wanted her. She was nothing compared to him. He was the Supreme Leader...He didn't have time for her.

 

Before she managed to even take one step away, she felt a sharp pull on her arm. Ben tugged her closer to his bare torso and wrapped an arm around her lower back. He swiftly lifted her chin and dipped his head down. He feverishly bit down on her lower lip as he pressed her closer. Rey’s body was in completely shock. She slowly began to respond, catching up to his speed. She leaned in closer, trying to get her body as physically close to his as possible.

 

He lowered their bodies down onto the padded mat and set one knee between her legs as he crawled back up to her neck and mouth. Rey’s breathing was heavy as he moved from her lips, to her jaw, down to her neck. He bit down lightly, causing Rey to gasp. This was even better than her dreams. She brought his head back up to her lips. Rey didn't want it to end. However, the Supreme Leader had other plans in mind. 

Ben sat up suddenly, leaning back on his heels.  

 

“I’ve been waiting to get that out of you.” He said lowly, a small smirk spreading across his face. Rey melted beneath him. He made it so hard for her to keep her composure. 

 

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think you could use some more independent study before we try this again tomorrow...Maybe next time you won’t be as distracted.” He scolded, standing up. He reached down to help Rey stand up and she felt her mind swirl. She was at a loss for words.

 

She knew she was right to be the most excited about this part of her training.

* * *

**A/N: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS. I hope this chapter was as good as it was to write.  It was time. I am very pleased with how their first kiss turned out. THANKS FOR READING!**

**email:kylorentheemooverlord@gmail.com**

****


	12. A Little Death

 

* * *

**Song Rec- Mr. Sandman by SMYL**

* * *

 

  **A Little Death**

Rey scrunched her nose and uneasily shot a look to Hux who merely shrugged at her. Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose and pleaded with Phasma. She shook her head.

 

“It’s what has to be done if we want to continue business with Canto’s superiors.” Phasma continued, staring down at the rows of troopers in front of them. They couldn't hear what the four of them were discussing but it was not convenient for the First Order. After the recent completion of the base, which they were currently on their way to, a report was sent in from the superiors on Canto Bright that their workers were not paid entirely for helping work overtime on the base. Hux said they were simply greedy and were halting completing the final touches on their base in Naboo.

 

“Invite them over to the base, promise to pay, and kill them. They’re awful people anyways.” Kylo said suddenly, turning away from the three of them and walking over to the trooper who was reporting the status of how close they were to being ready to depart. The base was in condition to transfer bodies over, but they were missing a few large pieces of technology they ordered to be installed. More security measures, specifically. Hux wanted to be sure the Resistance wouldn’t try anything in the middle of a vulnerable transfer period.

 

“Oh yes, let’s just go about our days murdering everyone.” Hux muttered bitterly, scrolling through his datapod to double check that everything was moving along on schedule. Phasma clasped her hands behind her back and sighed.

 

“Unfortunately, I am with Hux on this. As much as I’d prefer we never have to go through those middle men, we need their business. If that involves bringing those horrid executives here and kissing some ass, so be it.”

 

“I don’t see the purpose in them coming. I made sure everything was paid out correctly, I tripled checked.” Hux continued. Phasma shrugged.

 

“If they want to make the trip, let them.” Rey started to zone out now, no longer interested in what was in front of her.

 

Rey was excited today, they were so close to permanently relocating to their base. It would be interesting to see all the new additions to this base that the shipped lacked. Specifically, the library. Rey was thrilled that Kylo specifically requested that be built onto the base. Phasma also got her way and the training facilities were amped up. Hux got more weapons, which seemed to be the only thing that excited him...besides Phasma. Rey smirked to herself. She seemed to analyze every interaction they had.

 

“Rey. I need to speak to you.” Ben strode over to Rey,grabbing her arm and dragging her off to the side. Hux quirked a brow and nudged Phasma as Rey was stumbling to keep up with Ben’s pace. She rolled her eyes in a knowing manner and went back to their discussion. Rey felt her stomach drop nervously by the sound of his strict tone. He led her behind a large crate, blocking them out of view from those around them. His strict facade immediately dropped and he slowly leaned into her, backing her up against the crate and dipping his head to her lips. She placed her small hands on the sides of his face and smiled through the kiss. Kylo leaned back and set his arms on either side of her head. His eyes burned for more but he retracted.

 

“That is all.” He pushed himself off the side of the crate and strode off like nothing happened. Rey looked to her side and watched as Quinn’s mouth dropped. She must have walked over the second he pulled away.

 

“Rey!” She whisper shouted, running over to her friend, face painted in total disbelief. Rey’s cheeks lit up like a wildfire and she stared down at her feet. She was thankful the only person that saw them was Quinn, the both of them weren’t ready for anyone to know. Because to be truthful, even Ben and Rey  didn’t know.

 

“What was that? Are you dating the Supreme Leader? Rey, what the-” Rey clamped her hand over Quinn’s mouth and her blue eyes widened further.

 

“Quinn! Shut the hell up! NO one can know! We don’t even understand! It’s been like three days I don’t think we are dating?” Rey’s tone changed to one of confusion after she said it all out loud. Were they a thing?

 

“Okay I won’t say anything besides the fact that’s the fucking Supreme Leader!” She was nearly bouncing up and down in excitement for Rey, which was not the reaction Rey anticipated.

 

“You’re...happy?” Rey asked in confusion, taking Quinn by the arm and walking her farther away from the people. Quinn nodded.

 

“Well, yeah. Everything has been so much better here thanks to him. He’s the entire reason I got promoted. Snoke was a total nightmare…” Quinn rambled on. Rey was caught up on her appreciation for Ben. She had always wondered what everyone’s general feeling on him was. She was shocked it was one of gratitude. So much for Kylo’s implementation of fear.

 

“Anyways, you’re so lucky, I wish I had a boyfriend.” Quinn huffed, crossing her arms and flipping her blonde hair dramatically. Rey giggled as an idea formed.

 

“I think I know someone you’d get along with just fine. His name is Cedric.”

* * *

 

Naboo was flooded with activity as ships unloaded. Stormtroopers were dashing everywhere, transporting materials to the new base. Rey was in love with the architecture of the base. It was sleek, modern. Everything was either charcoal or black, it did stick out slightly amongst the natural beauty of the planet, but the trees were incorporated into the entrance of the base. Ben insisted they keep as much of the natural land intact. The front of the base was a wide open courtyard with slick black tile leading up to the entrance. Marble stairs led up to the building, which was absolutely enormous the closer one got to it. Rey dashed up the first set of stairs and walked across the courtyard. She watched as droids flew by, taking weapons and other technology with them as they went. As per always, the First Order was bustling about. Rey looked around at all the vines that intertwined along the stone railings on either side of the vast courtyard. He really did want to keep a lot of nature involved.

 

Rey smiled to herself and continued to admire the architecture of the structure. The opening was a larch arch. In the center of the courtyard was a large fountain. Ben wanted to have the architure resemble the palace his grandmother and grandfather briefly resided in. Well, he didn’t say it, but Rey compared the blueprints to some textbooks she read. It was truly beautiful rendering that had been done. He essentially took the blueprints and updated them, switching the color scheme and modernizing a few things by incorporating more glass.

 

Rey loved it. It was sentimental in its own way. She knew he didn’t have a good relationship with Han or Leia, but he adored his grandparents. Rey wondered if they would have loved Ben. Han and Leia were so quick to give up on him. Ben had told Rey of all the times that Han was never around. He was either gambling or stealing. His mother, Leia, just sent him off to Luke with the concerns of something “dark” growing in him. She feared her own son and shipped him off to Luke...Who feared him just as much.

 

Everyone gave up on him.

 

But Rey wouldn’t. Rey couldn't ever give up on him. He had grown on her too much. There was more to Ben Solo than...Kylo Ren. He was so much more.

 

“Magnificent, isn’t it?” Ben walked up behind Rey, gently pressing his hand against her back and taking it away before anyone saw. She missed his touch as soon as it was over.

 

“It’s beautiful.” Rey breathed out, touching a black marble pillar. They walked inside and she was absolutely enamoured by the long stretch of hallways and expensive tiles.

 

“Where does the First Order get all this money…” Rey muttered, mainly to herself. She heard a light chuckle come from Ben.

 

“You can have anything when you run half the galaxy.” Rey smiled lightly. They walked in silence for a bit as they explored the endless amount of rooms. She looked out of the windows that lead to the back of the base and saw a long stretch of grass outside that lead to a gorgeous view of the waterfalls behind the building. She went to go outside and Ben slide his I.D to open the glass doors. They walked outside, surprisingly no one else was out back yet but the two of them. She looked down and noticed a small detail she hadn’t seen before.

 

Yellow flowers. She bent down and gently touched the petals. They were just as wonderful as the last time she saw them. Ben stood above her watching.

 

“Hux told me you liked them.” That was all he said as he continued walking past her outside. Rey stopped touching the flowers and watched him walk off, in shock. He requested that they plant rows and rows of these just because Rey liked them. She felt a flutter in her stomach and she bolted to run after him.

 

“Ben, that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” She whispered, placing a hand on his forearm. He said nothing but looked down at her and gave her a gentle smile. It was such a peaceful smile. Rey would kill to see it more often.  It tore her apart inside just to know he went through so much of his life not having anyone that cared about him. He only endured betrayal, loss, and manipulation. She felt tears sting the back of her eyes. Just thinking about how hard his life must have been destroyed her.

 

“Rey, why are you crying?” He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and tilted her chin up. A tear fell free from her eye and tumbled down her cheek.

 

“It kills me no one was there for you.” She said quietly, tears threatening to choke her voice. His eyes clouded for a moment, a flash of pain crossed his face. He didn’t like to be reminded of his past, it only made the suffering worse.

 

“Rey, do not worry about me. I am an adult now.” He wiped the tear off with his leather covered thumb and pressed her lower back to keep her walking. He took her further back to the garden house near the edge of the outdoor property. He opened the small door into the greenhouse and shut it behind them.

 

“Your life was difficult as well, don’t feel like I am the only one here who's suffered.” Rey nodded quietly andsucked in a shaky breath. She tried to busy herself with nearby succulents but she couldn’t stop the sadness from coming.  He turned to her now, staring her down intensely. She could see the sudden anger in his eyes.

 

“Your parents left you, like you were nothing. Your friends treated you like were nothing. Maybe you are nothing.” Rey’s heart dropped as he continued, killing her to hear all of the things she feared aloud.

 

“But not to me, Rey.” He brought her to his chest and held her tightly.

 

“You’re everything to me.”  He whispered quietly, placing a gentle kiss on top of her head. Another wave of tears hit Rey.

 

Never in her life had she had someone tell her that she was their everything. She felt a sense of belonging. She felt like someone in her life truly cared.  Her heart swelled, warmth spreading in her body. It was an odd emotion, she didn't quite understand it, but she accepted the feeling.

 

* * *

 

“So tell me more about this Cedric boy.” Quinn gushed as she showed Rey around the new armory department room. Quinn was excited about several things, mainly the fact that the new base meant her headquarters were much larger, and so was her office. But Quinn was also ecstatic about the potential new love she could have. Rey giggled.

 

“He works for me, incredibly sweet boy...Dark hair, light eyes, tan, you know, typical dream boy.” Rey rolled her eyes and Quinn elbowed her.

 

“When can I meet him!” She leaned across the metal countertop where her team was _already_ working on prototypes. As always, the First Order never misses an opportunity to be working.

 

“Maybe tomorrow or something? Right now I have to get back to General Hux and Kylo. They are about to having a meeting with some Canto officials.”  Quinn let out a heavy sigh and rolled her eyes.

 

“Can you stop being important for _five_ minutes.” The blonde mock whined, getting back to work as Rey laughed and left the room.She saw Ivan and Irene walk past her, presumably going to check out a technology issue. Ivan gave her a curt nod, the most respect she had ever seen come out of him. She gave a low wave and continued walking down to the other wing of the base where the command headquarters were. She thought she was going to be winded by the time she got there, lucky most the halls were outdoors, which was a nice break from the freezing air conditioning. She saw Phasma at the end of the hallways and called to her to wait for a second so she could catch up.

 

After a few of their training sessions she found Phasma to make quite the interesting friend. Phasma was very interested in nature and for some odd reason, bird watching. It must be an activity that takes her mind off all the death and gore of her army. Rey shook the morbid thoughts of her mind and finally caught up to Phasma.

 

“We have to hurry, they are arriving soon.” Rey and Phasma rushed to head over to the meeting, they wanted to make sure they could be there before the guests arrived. Hux opened the door for them and they took their seats at the large mahogany table. Rey’s eyes scanned the room and they fell on Ben. Her cheeks burned and she quickly looked down, attempting to get the blush to fade faster. He was so lucky he was wearing that mask.

 

Seconds later an ensemble from Canto Bright  arrived, filing in one by one to take their seats across from Hux, Phasma, and Ben. The main reason Rey was here was to learn, she wanted to switch departments. She had enough of the electrician gig, she wanted to work on weapons technology. Her end goal was to be able to repair the ships and work on developing newer models.

 

“Supreme Leader Ren, General Hux, Captain Phasma.” The officials all nodded and shook their hands as they took their seats. Phasma muttered something about only knowing two of their names, Rey brushed it off, claiming she didn't even know one name.

 

Rey noticed the official on the end kept shooting nervous glances over to her. She tried to ignore it but as the meeting went on, it was starting to irk her.

 

It wasn’t until she noticed that the official was adjusting the pin on his jacket that she started to be suspicious. After adjusting the pin he seemed to tilt his head and tap something in his ear.

 

It all clicked.

 

This man on the end was not a Canto Official. Why was it everytime Rey was at a meeting something had to go wrong.

 

She pulled out the blaster strapped to her thigh that Phasma gifted to her after training and pointed it across the table.

 

“You’re with the Resistance.” Rey stated calmly, holding her gun in place. The man’s eyes shot open wide and he whipped out his own gun. The second he did that, three troopers behind Hux aimed at the man. The two other Canto “officials” were immediately seized and the last one remained in an arms lock with Rey. Kylo singaled to the troopers to take the other two down to the holding cells underground. They kicked and screamed at the troopers as they gripped them tighter. They would be interrogated later on.

 

“Who sent you?” Hux stood up, angrily slamming his hands on the table. Phasma took out her blaster and pointed it on the man as a replacement for the troops. He refused to take his eyes off Rey. Before he could answer,  Phasma shot him in the hand, right before he was able to pull the trigger. He screamed in pain and dropped his weapon immediately, holding his wounded hand.

 

“I am going to ask you once more, before we shoot the other hand, who sent you.” The man grunted and gritted his teeth in pain.

 

“I-I don’t know! Some man named Poe or something! He said it was intel! They offered me money!” He fell to the ground, clutching his hand. Rey felt a sick feeling grow in the pit of her stomach.

 

Poe.

 

Of course it was him. After earning his way up to being in charge of all the flights and pilots in the Resistance, it was not a surprise he was only climbing in his ranking. This was probably his way to get closer with Leia.

 

Rey stared at the man before deciding to do something that surprised everyone. She walked around the table and closed her eyes tightly.

 

“Please, don’t, I-” She set the gun to his temple and fired. Silence filled the room after the sound of the blast rang in the room. Rey chose her path. Now it was time to walk down it.

 

“Rey…” Ben started, the concern clearly in his tone as her name left his lips. She felt her chest tighten and refused to let the sob escape her lungs.

 

“They’re my enemy now. They’ve made it abundantly clear.” She said, stepping over the body and furiously walking out of the room. She was absolutely broke. It was all very real to her now. Hux, Ren, and Phasma stayed in the room, struck with disbelief for what they had just seen. Hux cleared his throat in an attempt to break the silence. 

 

“If we ever had any doubts of her allegiance, they have been put to rest.” Phasma nodded in agreement.

 

“We need to interrogate the other two since….” She looked over to the pool of blood.

 

“I’ll go talk to her.” Ben said after a stretch of silence. Hux nodded.

 

“Probably for the best. I don’t know if she’s the killing type.” The general said. Phasma sighed.

 

“I’ll call the clean up crew.”  

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a few days, I was down on the US/Mexico border riding some horses. No, that is not a joke. My life is adventure ridden. Not that you guys want to know about my life. But here we go, we are getting closer to the** **resumption of the war...I have been itching to write that.**

**Also, I will be starting a new story soon since I have been hacking away at this one. ahHHHHH! Thank you for all the love!!**

**again!**

**Email me! kylorentheemooverlord@gmail.com**

****

 


	13. Slipping

**Song Rec-Judgment** **Day by Stealth**

* * *

 ******Slipping**

 

The wind whipped violently against Rey’s tear  stained cheeks. She had run out of the base and hadn’t stopped. She ignored Ben’s pleas for her to turn around and come back. She shut him out from her mind, silenced their bond. She didn’t want to be around anyone. Rey needed to be alone, she had to have some time to process everything that had just transpired. Her heart felt like a weight in her chest, straining her. Her feet could barely get enough blood pumped to them as she pushed her legs, faster and faster.

 

She knew what she did _had_ to be done. If the Resistance knew where they were, they would have ambushed the First Order in such a sensitive time. But obviously, they knew enough information of their whereabouts to send people there. Rey did what was necessary. She prevented those infiltrators from being able to relay the information they were collecting. She bought the First Order more time.

 

Rey had never killed a man in her life. The sound of the gun firing was still ringing in her mind. She wanted to bargain with herself, what she did was not wrong. But she knew deep down, it wasn’t right either. Her emotions were conflicted, it was a direct split between feeling justified and feeling guilty. She felt on edge now, a strange knot in her stomach formed. Rey slowed down, looking around the empty field she had run to. It was dark now, the sun was setting and she was alone now.

 

She fell down to her knees, connecting with the grassy ground beneath her. Her fingers twisted around the grass blades and tears slipped down her face. She never wanted any of this. She didn’t ask for Finn to have landed in Jakku and throw her into this whirlwind of a life. A life chocked full of death, anger, and vengeance. It wasn’t just the First Order. It was the Resistance too. They were full of just as much hate. Rey wanted more than anything for the Resistance to just disappear. There had been a pause in the war and they ignited it again. They started so many wars by constantly meddling into situations.

 

Rey hated the Resistance.

 

She hated that it wasn’t possible for one organization to help lead the galaxy back to order. To stop the constant state of war. Rey hated that all they did was push back. Most of all, she resented that her moment of happiness was ruined.

 

For a moment in her life, she had friends. She had purpose. People who cared about her in more than a friend way… She had a bed, a full belly, a job. She had everything she dreamt of as a kid.

 

The second she felt nearly content, someone from the Resistance had to come and ruin it all. Her chest tightened as she took a shaky breath. Rey looked up and watched as the blood orange tint of the sky slowly shifted to a deeper shade. It was getting late. She knew that, but Rey no longer cared.

 

Killing that man was not a mistake. The more Rey processed her feelings, her thoughts, she knew what she did was _right._ She did was she had to do to save the people she cares about now.

 

Cedric, Quinn, Phasma, Hux, Ben… She had to kill that man before the Resistance had the chance to learn more and act faster. If Rey had learned anything in these past months, these people had never let her down.

 

Cedric was there for her when she needed a friend. Quinn made her feel like she had a sister, and was Rey’s first female friend. Phasma taught Rey how to defend herself against even some of the toughest combat situations, but she also taught Rey what it meant to be a strong female leader. Hux taught Rey honesty. He showed her what it meant to accept the facts and consequences as they are, and not to sugar coat anything in life.

 

But most importantly.

 

Ben taught Rey what it meant to care deeply for someone else. He taught her that even the slightest of touches from the right person can make you feel like _home_ is person, not a place. Ben Solo taught Rey that there is more to a person than the mask they put on.

 

These people meant everything to Rey now. If she had to do what she did back at the base to defend these people, then so be it. She would never allow any of them to slip away from her. Even if it meant truly destroying the Resistance.

 

Rey leaned back on her heels and finally allowed herself to freely collapse onto the field. The soft wisps of grass tickled her bare skin and the wind gently blew through her hair. In one moment, she felt at peace. She accepted her anger. She accepted her pain. She didn’t allow it to dominate her, she didn’t force the feeling down or suppress it.  It was okay to feel this way.

 

She closed her eyes and focused on the soft bubbling of the river behind her, the chirps of the birds, and the quiet hum of the environment. Rey’s eyebrows furrowed as she heard the soft shuffle of feet approach her. The noise stopped directly next to her and the next thing she heard was the quiet crack of knees as the person beside her sat down.

 

“You blocked me out.” His gentle voice floated down to her ears and Rey’s heart nearly swooned. His voice was divine. It was smooth, deep, and sounded like heaven.

 

“I needed to be alone.” Rey answered honestly, turning on her side to face him. He crossed his arms over his knees and watched the gentle dance of the blades before him. The wind blew his wavy hair into his eyes and he closed them, sighing heavily.

 

“I worry about you, Rey.” He whispered, after a long stretch of silence. Rey sat up and crawled closer to him, sitting in front of him. She took his hand and lightly squeezed it.

 

“I worry about _you._ ” She whispered, holding his hand tighter. He placed his other had on top of theirs and aimlessly traced circles on the back of her hand.

 

“You don’t need to worry about me, I can handle myself.” He said, slowly pulling her in. He extended his legs and dragged her closer to his chest, encasing her with his arms. She leaned her head back onto his chest and folded her legs up to her stomach.

 

“I just don’t want anything to happen to you...Or to Hux, Phasma, Cedric, Quinn…” She rambled, losing focus as she watched his fingers draw lazy circles onto her thigh. She felt his inaudible sigh rise through his chest.

 

“Nothing will take any of us from you, I promise.” His lips brushed against her right ear and Rey shivered.

 

“Ben, is what I did wrong?” She asked quietly, nervously wringing out her hands. He grabbed her small hands and held them tightly.

 

“You did what you needed to do to protect the people you care about. You did nothing wrong.” His reassurance made the anxiety bubbling in her chest quiet. That was all she needed. She needed someone to tell her what she did was for the good of the Order. She twisted her torso to face him now. She sat on her knees and stared at him, searching for the honesty in his eyes. He meant what he said.

 

She leaned forward and gently kissed his lips, resting her hand against his rough cheek. He circled one arm behind her back and drew her closer. His palm slid up her side and found its way behind her head, deepening the kiss. She leaned back and pulled her arms back up to hug him closely to her chest.

 

“I will never let anything happen to you.” She said, closing her eyes and holding him closer. She felt his other arm come around her to reciprocate the hug.

 

“You have my word that I gave you months ago.” She said nothing, but listened to the pulse of his heart. He raised his hand to gently twirl a strand of her loose hair.

 

“You are my everything.” Hearing his words made the tears sting at the back of her eyes. She buried her face into his neck and tried to muffle the cry. He continued.

 

“Rey, no one in my life has ever cared for me in the way you have. Not even  my parents.” He stroked her back gently as the tears continued to come. He didn’t ask her to stop. He didn’t tell her she was weak for crying or that her sympathy meant nothing.

 

Ben Solo realized something for the first time in his life that would take a long time before he could come to terms with it.

 

He loved this small girl in his arms. Though, it would be awhile before he knew just exactly what the feeling was.

 

It was dark now. Rey had fallen asleep in his arms and Ben did the best he could to stand up and pick her up without waking her up. He swiftly pulled her up to his chest and began to walk back.

 

* * *

 

Ben arrived back at the base and decided to bring Rey back to the lounge where Hux was. He looked up from his spot on the leather couch and stood up, gently taking Rey from Ben’s tired arms and setting her down on the couch. Ben walked over and grabbed the throw blanket that was draped across the back of the couch. The lounge was tucked inside a quiet corner of the library, one of Hux’s and Ben’s favorite places to visit.

 

They both stood up, looking down at Rey as she took quiet breaths, her chest rising and falling in peaceful manner.

 

“Was she in the fields like I said?” Hux asked, making sure to keep his voice as low as possible. Ben nodded.

 

“She said she needed time alone.” Hux stared at Ben, slowly turning away to grab them two drinks from the counter on the opposite side of the room. He poured two drinks from the bottle and dropped in a few cubes.

 

“Whiskey, the only medication I believe in.” Ben thanked Hux and took the drink from his hand. They both sipped their drink in silence. Ben absentmindedly twirled the ice cubes in his drink by shaking his glass.

 

“We are going to have to go to Crait within the next two days.” Hux finally said, taking the last sip of his whiskey. Ben set his glass down and gently tucked a strand of Rey's hair behind her ear.

 

“It’s time we just end things with the Resistance. I’m tired of their prestering presence in the galaxy.” Ben sighed, retracting his hand from her head. Hux paced across the room and set the glasses back.

 

“Do you think with her that we can end it? I’m sure once they see Rey aligning herself with the First Order they will be absolutely blinded with their own conflict.” Hux mused, taking an old book off a shelf and flipping through it. Ben took a seat on the chair next to the couch and leaned his head back.

 

“We can only hope so. The Resistance is outdated and their support is dwindling. Leia  should have just let the damn thing go.” Hux looked up at Ben with a concerned look.

 

“Do you think you’ll be able to face her? Last time you...hesitated.” Ben looked over at Hux with a dull glaze in his eyes.

 

“I no longer see her as a mother. She’s just an obstacle now. She never cared about me.” His tone was reserved, clearly trying to keep it void of any emotions. On the inside it was tearing him apart. Every inch of him burned at the thought of having to face his mother.

 

Could he do it?

* * *

 **A/N: we are so close to hitting the main point of this story I cannot wait. It's going to be a multi chapter event. The chapter was crucial to Rey's** **development as well as her relationship. This is my last week of multiple updates before I have to space out my time and make longer updates that are less frequent.**

**Anyways, I am THRILLED by all your comments, emails, and messages on Tumblr, I couldn't have ever asked for better readers:) That even put up with my mistakes!**

**Much love:)**


	14. New Flames

**Song Rec- Flaming Hot Cheetos by Clairo**

* * *

******New Flames**

 

Rey woke up suddenly, thrashing her hands down at her sides only to grasp a handful of sheets. She was in her bed. How did she get there? She fell back down on her back and looked up at the pattern on the ceiling. Ben must’ve brought her back after their time together in the field. Rey no longer felt such a tremendous weight on her chest after the events of yesterday.  She looked over at her datapod on the table and saw the time flashing back at her.

 

It was late in the morning.

 

She threw the sheets off her in a panicked frenzy and raced around her room trying to get ready. She sucked in her breath as she squeezed into her tight black leather pants. She frantically searched for her zip up charcoal jacket and aggressively ran her toothbrush over their teeth.She left her room and braided her hair on the way over to the Officer’s Wing. It was a five minute walk from her room, but Rey was sprinting. She passed Cedric on the way and gave him the fastest wave in history, not wanting to ignore him and be rude. He laughed at her as she flashed past. This was not an uncommon sight with Rey.

 

She slid across the corner and placed her hands on her knees, trying to steady her breath as much as possible. She nodded to herself and went to knock on Hux’s door. Rey opened it and saw Ben and Hux together, sipping coffee and going over strategies.

 

“Not today, Rey. Go.” Hux leaned back in his leather chair and crossed his fingers together. Rey’s expression shifted from exhaustion to confusion.

 

“Excuse me?” She asked, looking over to Ben for answers. Ben merely shrugged.

 

“You’ve been excused for the day.” Hux said simply, taking a sip of his coffee. Rey crossed her arms over her chest.

 

“Okay, listen, I did a favor by doing what I-” Hux waved his hand in her face.

 

“We are giving you the day off. Go be a normal young woman for a day.” Rey blankly stared. Ben leaned forward now, handing Rey a biscuit from Hux’s desk. Her body, acting on autopilot, took the biscuit and absentmindedly hung onto it. It was the scavenger in her, old habits die hard.

 

“A normal young woman?” Rey repeated incredulously, shaking her head in disbelief.

 

“Yes, shortly you will not have that opportunity for awhile. Why don’t you go visit with some of those friends of yours?” Hux suggested, mindlessly scrolling through his datapod. Ben shifted.

 

“Girls.” He coughed quietly under his breath. Rey bit her lip trying to hold back a small smile. Was Ben jealous of her male friends?

 

“Don’t be facetious, Kylo. Just go, Rey. Ignore this man child.” Hux rolled his eyes and frowned at Ben. Ben tried to shrug it off but Rey could see a tiny flare of seriousness in his eyes. Rey laughed and gave in.

 

“Fine. I will have a “normal” day, if you two promise to have a “normal” dinner like we did the first time I ate with you two?” Rey had a cheeky grin spread across her face, leaning against Hux’s door frame nonchalantly. Hux exhaled deeply.

 

“Fine. Now go away.” Rey smirked and gave a short wave, turning on her heel. If she was going to spend the day as a “normal” woman, then she was going to do something she had been trying to set up for awhile.

 

Cedric and Quinn.

 

First obstacle of the day would be tracking down Quinn, who, more often than not, was dashing around doing a hundred things at once. She pulled out her travelpod and sent off a quick message to ask where Quinn was. In the meantime, she was going back down to the worker’s wing, where she could find her old electrical crew.

 

“Hey Rey, looks like you got your morning run in already?” Cedric teased lightly, sending a wink her way. Rey waved him off and walked over.

 

“Almost done with the wiring?” She asked, pointing over to a few tools in his hand. Cedric nodded.

 

“Yup, want to grab lunch?” Rey pretending to think for a moment. She remembered she had a biscuit in her hand and split it with Cedric.

 

“When do I not want food?” He laughed and took his half, chewing as they started to walk towards the cafeteria. Which, by Hux’s request, started serving “higher” quality food. Rey wasn’t entirely sure it was much better, but to her, food was food. She felt a vibration on her hip, Quinn had messaged her back asking to meet Rey in the cafeteria. Rey could hardly contain her excitement. This was perfect.

 

They both walked down the wing and turned right. They entered the new cafeteria. This one was much more scenic, considering there were actual windows in this room. Quinn waved Rey over after she and Cedric had grabbed their trays. Quinn was sitting at a table with three chairs, which Rey thought was convenient for her next move. Rey took the empty chair across Quinn, forcing Cedric to sit next to her blonde friend. He stared at Rey, shooting her a confused look. Still, he took his seat next to Rey’s friend.

 

“Quinn, this is my friend, Cedric. He works with me sometimes.” Quinn smiled at Cedric and shook his hand.

 

“Nice to meet you, Quinn. Rey talks about you all the time.” Rey grinned and stabbed her fork into the meat on her plate. This was better than any book she’d ever read.

 

“Anyways, I’d figured I would introduce you both to each other, since you’ve got a few things in common.” Quinn took a bite of her salad and slyly winked at Rey.

 

“Like what?” Cedric asked, completely oblivious to the toe nudging and winking between Quinn and Rey. Rey adjusted the collar on her jacket and tried to keep a straight face.

 

“Like how we are both single.” Quinn interrupted, turning to Cedric and winking. Cedric face lit up like a light and he coughed awkwardly. He glared at Rey.

 

“Rey, why would you tell her that?” He whined, playing with his food to hide his embarrassment. Cedric was lucky Quinn was so direct or things would have went nowhere.

 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing I know.” Quinn teased, nudging him lightly. He gave her a small smile and shook his head.

 

“Maybe not a terrible thing…” He muttered, taking a bite out of his food. Rey laughed.

 

“You two are going to be adorable, I can feel it.” Quinn smiled at Rey and flipped her shoulder length hair over her shoulder. She pretended to pick a piece of lint off her silver sweater and shrugged.

 

“Of course we are.” Cedric’s blush deepened a few shades, he sipped on his water in dismal attempt to cool his face down. Rey leaned back in her seat. Only one, possibly two including Hux, knew about Rey’s... _attraction_ so no one could tease her like she could tease Cedric. He was just too easy to mess with.

 

Rey stood up, picking up her tray and stretching.

 

“As much as I’d love to stay, I don’t want to ruin the date.” Quinn mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ and Rey turned to leave. Her job was momentarily done there.

 

What now?  That whole ordeal was only an hour of her day and she needed to come up with something else...or someone else to bother. Hux and Ben were out of the question, Quinn and Cedric were busy now… Phasma was going through training with her squadrons.

 

Rey sighed heavily and aimlessly walked down the hall. What the hell was she going to do today? Pick up a new skill or hobby? Go to the greenhouse, or library? Those were all things she constantly did. She wanted to do something _new._

 

Rey went out to the courtyard and took a seat on a nearby bench. She thought long and hard as to what to do with her supposed “free” day. Rey watched as lines of troopers strolled past her, as well as other First Order workers bustling about. No one else had the day off. Rey rolled her eyes. Hux was probably worried about her after yesterday and is forcing her to have some type of “mental” rest day.

 

“Did you see some of those new tie fighters on the dock over there? They’re pretty impressive.” Rey overheard a few pilots having a discussion as they strode past her. Her interest piqued. She stood up and quickly jogged across the courtyard. She was going to the hanger to see the tie fighters. She stepped down the staircases, taking the stairs two at a time. She walked down past the entrance and over to the hanger. She was going to go for a joy ride.

 

It had been a long time since Rey had the opportunity to fly an aircraft. It was actually one of her favorite things to do. Sometimes she wondered what it would be like to be a pilot or flight engineer.

 

She entered the large hanger and saw a variety of aircrafts in front of her. From shuttles, to cruisers, to tie fighters, and much more. The First Order had it all. She paced over to one of the pilots and looked him dead in the eye.

 

“You will give me your key and you will let me fly your tie fighter.” Rey knew it was a _little_ wrong to use compulsion as often as she did, but it was for the greater good. He stared at her blanky, dropping the key in her hand.

 

“I will give you my key, and let you fly my tie fighter.” She thanked him and hopped in. A few other pilots looked at her in confusion. Before they had the chance to run over and stop her, she switched on the engine and peeled out of there as fast as she could shift the gears.

 

She shot back in her seat and grinned wildly.

 

“I could get used to this!” She cried out, in excitement. She whipped up and laughed as she brought the ship out from the base. This was a new view of the beautiful planet that she had not been able to see yet. Everything looked breathtaking from the aerial view. Perhaps she could convince Hux to let her have one of her own ships so she could occasionally take it out for a spin. Flying was a natural feeling for her. She felt like it was something she was meant to do almost. Rey was elated. After all the events she had gone through, this was truly cathartic for her.

 

Rey returned the ship after getting the excitement out of her system. She was also partially nervous that if she stayed up there any longer, Hux and Ben would find out. She began her descent into the hanger and prepared for landing. She brought the ship back in, in one piece, and not a scratch.

 

She unbuckled herself and stepped out of the tie fighter, only to be greeted by a frowning Captain Phasma.

 

“Did you steal one of my pilot’s tie fighters?” Rey knew the question was rhetorical and she sheepishly smiled, rubbing the back of her neck. Phasma sighed.

 

“I am going to pretend I didn’t see you just do that.” Rey caught on to Phasma’s warning and quickly walked off. She decided it was time to go back to her quarters for a bit to cool down from all the excitement this day had brought her.

 

Who knew stealing could be so exhilarating? Well, borrowing, to be exact…

 

Rey slid her ID in the cardholder and went into her room, flopping onto the bed. Maybe she would take a nap before her dinner in a few hours…

* * *

“You stole a tie fighter?” Hux pinched the bridge of his nose and inhaled deeply. Rey grinned.

 

“I didn’t _steal,_ I borrowed.” She corrected him, lifting her wine glass to take a sip. Ben gave her a light smile and shook his head.

  
“We give you one day off…” Ben muttered, cutting off a piece of his steak. Rey covered her mouth with her napkin and gave a light chuckle.

 

“I was thinking maybe I could have one of my own?” She asked, staring expectantly at Hux. He drummed his fingers against the white tablecloth and rested his chin on his hand.

 

“You’re asking me for a tie fighter after you stole one?” Rey nodded. Ben chewed thoughtfully and watched as Hux’s faces shifted through his thinking process.

 

“If it will prevent you from stealing, fine.” Rey tried to keep her fist from pumping in victory.

  
“You’re a pushover when it comes to her.” Ben nudged his fork in the direction of Rey, teasing Hux. The general rolled his eyes.

 

“That’s a load coming from you, Kylo.” Ben’s upper lip tugged up and he took a sip of his wine. Hux wasn’t wrong.

 

“You’ve got a soft spot for women, it’s not your fault.” Ben added, watching as Rey stifled a laugh. Hux set his fork down and crossed his arms.

 

“When you and your _girlfriend_ are done acting immature, please, let me know, so we can resume _adult_ conversation.” Rey blushed at the phrase “girlfriend” and shoved a piece of bread in her mouth in order to avoid feeling more awkward. If Ben was embarrassed, he wasn’t letting on very easily.

 

“Right when you and Phasma stop defiling the utility closet in the Command Deck…” Hux choked on his water as the words left Kylo’s mouth and Rey’s jaw dropped. This conversation was going too far, very fast.

 

“You know what Kylo, I-” Rey coughed loudly.

 

“Alright, alright, that’s enough you two.” Ben’s smirk played sinfully across his face and Hux’s frown deepened.

 

“So, about Phasma, how long has it been?” Rey flashed a smile and winked at Hux. Of course, she was going to side with Ben.

* * *

 **A/N: Ayyeee we had some Quindric action (thanks to Ben Solo for giving us that** **ship name!), I wanted to write a lighter chapter. I'm going to get deep here for a sec and say that this fic has been so cathartic for me.**

**All my life I struggled with my diagnosis of a form of severe anxiety that sometimes comes along with a sweet side of depression. So being able to write from the heart and have such an overwhelming POSITIVE and LOVING response to my fic has meant the entire world to me.**

**Lately I have been feeling kinda down so my updates have been a small struggle for me to motivate myself. Your responses truly make my days brighter. I love you all.**

 

**Have a WONDERFUL new year! One where you prosper and make a difference in people's lives. Love your life and those in it:)**

 

**kylorentheemooverlord@gmail.com (if you need a friend)**


	15. Sand, More Sand.

 

**Song Rec- To The Wonder by Aqualung**

* * *

 

**Sand, More Sand**

**“** Remind me again, why are you going to Jakku, Phasma?” Hux rubbed his temples and Rey’s ears perked up. Ben immediately shot Rey an ‘I-know-what-you’re-thinking-and-the-answer-is-no-look’. Phasma leaned back in the leather chair and crossed her legs. It was another rare occasion she was not in her suit, but rather a set of black slacks and a white button down. In fact, no one was in their standard black or grey uniform today.

 

“A guard there said they had some... _anonymous_ tips on the Resistance.” Hux rubbed his chin and leaned forward.

 

“So you’re insinuating that we delay the attack by a few days so that you can run off to Jakku to speak to a guard.” His tone was matter of fact, and he didn’t seem to enjoy the idea of delaying what had already been delayed  for nearly two months. Ben shifted in his seat and turned to stare out at the field of marigolds outside of the window. He had been distant lately. Always lost in thought, never quite present.

 

“Intel is extremely valuable to us now, Hux.” She spat, crossing her arms. Rey’s eyebrows shot up and she shot Hux a concerned look. It wasn’t common for Phasma to have an outburst like that. Rey assumed that they must be having some...domestic issues.

 

“Why not send a trooper to collect data then, instead of wasting your time!” Hux shouted back, slamming his fist on the glass table. Ben’s attention snapped back to the meeting and he looked over to Rey who looked just as visibly uncomfortable as he did.

 

“Good thing I don’t need your permission! In fact, I am going to take Rey with me. The only other _level-headed_ person in this room.” Phasma stood up abruptly, shoving her chair back into the table. Rey uncomfortably shifted in her seat, clearing her throat.

 

“Why do you insist on Rey going? Why not send a trooper, as Hux said?” Ben spoke up. His tone was even, cool. He was trying his best not to make it sound like he was ganging up on her. Phasma seemed fragile at the moment, and if there is anything more terrifying than an intergalactic war, it was a woman’s anger. To be truthful, he just didn’t want Rey to go.

 

“For starters, my faith in relying on troopers for intel has dwindled ever since that traitor, FN-2187.” Her words dripped with venom as she spoke his name. Finn was a rather sore spot in the First Order.

 

“Why couldn’t you have said that from the start?” Hux muttered, heaving a heavy sigh off his chest. Phasma’s balled up hands started to relax slowly. She realized that the two men were being a bit more open to her plan.

 

“No one let me. I want to take Rey because she knows Jakku better than anyone. That Outpost has long been in dominance under the First Order. All I know is that someone from the Resistance was there. And our men overheard some crucial information.” Phasma continued, calmly taking her seat.

 

“Did they not relay it to you via datapod?” Hux asked, tapping on his screen. Phasma shook her head.

 

“We lost connection after the call. That planet is a technological wasteland.” Hux nodded. Ben was frowning. He wasn’t saying anything,  but he didn’t even have to. Rey could hear his thoughts projecting. He was worried about her traveling without him. Rey nearly rolled her eyes. Yes, the thought was sweet, the concern was touching, but she was very much capable of taking care of herself. She’s been doing that for twenty plus years.

 

“Right. Well, you’ll need to leave soon. The faster you go, the faster you’re back. We need to get this action back in motion with the Resistance. Hopefully this intel mission will prove beneficial.” Phasma nodded and got out of her seat. Ben crossed his arms over his chest and seemed to have a conversation, silently, with Hux across the table.

 

“We want you two to take another person with you, for precautions.” Hux said, clearing his throat and nodding back to Ben. Phasma turned around and glared.

 

“We aren’t housewives, Hux and Kylo. We can handle ourselves, I’m sure Rey agrees.” Phasma’s commanding tone was enough even for the Supreme Leader to let the idea of someone else coming, go. Before the two women had the chance to leave, a knock came at the door.

 

“Rey, I wanted to give you this. Cedric said you were in a meeting and I completely apologize for interrupting but my team and I are going to Tatooine for the day to test some armory-” Ben held his hand up.

 

“Take her.” Quinn looked over in confusion, freshly pressed uniform in hand. Phasma quirked a brow at Ben. Hux’s expression mirrored Phasma’s.

 

“1132?” Phasma asked in confusion, “She’s in charge of the armory department why would we bring her?”  Rey was positive Ben didn’t have an actual rhyme to his reason, however, she didn’t mind.

 

“Girls trip?” Quinn turned to Rey in excitement. Rey smiled. Quinn had no idea that she had walked into a meeting on going to Jakku to gather information on the Resistance. She wished they were flying somewhere like Tatooine, which was only a couple hour round trip. Jakku was a bit further. And she hadn’t been back to Jakku ever since Finn had came crashing into her life…

 

“She’s got a specialty in weapons training as well. Phasma, it does not hurt to have extra bodies on a trip.” Hux finally mused, after pondering Ben’s decision. Hux arrived at the same conclusion that Rey had. Ben wanted Quinn to go just in case something were to happen to Rey and Phasma couldn't stop it alone.

 

Ben’s worry was an understatement. He was scared for Rey. If he had remembered correctly, Rey also had an issue with a man named Unkar. Whom, Ben swore he would murder one day.

 

“Right, anyways. Pack your things, girls. We are leaving within the hour.” Phasma turned on her heel and exited the board room. Rey looked back to Quinn who handed her a heavy jacket.

 

“I wanted to give you this. We’ve been designing bullet proof fleece jackets. It’s a protopype so it’s heavy, but it’s useful.” Quinn smiled lightly and unzipped the jacket to show her the protective material.

 

“Quinn, this is amazing.” Rey said, touching the material. Ben stood up, striding over to Rey.

 

“Hopefully that jacket is ready to withstand weapons.” He commented, looking at Quinn. Quinn quickly bowed before nodding furiously.

 

“Absolutely, Supreme Leader.” He merely stared on, having nothing more to say to her.

 

“I’ll have to tell Cedric I’m leaving.” Quinn muttered, excusing herself to go take care of her business. Hux sighed.

 

“I’m going to go get the mission run down from Phasma.” Hux said, picking up his datapod off the table.

 

“So that’s what you’re calling it now?” Rey teased, winking at the general. He rolled his eyes.

 

“You two are no better.” He scoffed, leaving the room. It was just Rey and Ben now. His soft eyes turned to hers and she saw the concern melted into his expression. She rested her hand on the lapels of his jacket.

 

“I’ll be fine, Ben.” He closed his eyes and she felt the inhalation of air fill his chest. He opened his eyes and exhaled. He set his larger hand over hers.

 

“Just be safe.” He whispered. She moved her hand to set it on his cheek and brought his face down to rest on her forehead.

 

“I’ll be fine. I always am.” He lightly pressed a tender kiss to her forehead and steadied his hands on her shoulders.

 

“Go pack.”  She smiled.

 

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” She teased, snapping her hand to her forehead. He smiled lightly and shook his head. He had such a soft spot for this woman.

 

* * *

 

The women all climbed into Phasma’s command shuttle and prepared for take off. The trip was going to last a day total, if they timed everything right. Hux was starting to get very annoyed by the time constraints. Phasma positioned herself into the pilot’s seat and the other girls sat in the back.

 

“Why am I here again?” Quinn asked, laughing, as she buckled herself into her seat. Rey rolled her eyes.

 

“Because Kylo worries too much.” It felt odd to call him Kylo, but out of respect for him, around others, she would not call him Ben. She didn’t want to ruin his reputation.

 

“You know, when I was younger, my parents took me on a weapons trade on Jakku.” Quinn smiled fondly, a deep sadness in her eyes. Rey gave her a tight smile and touched her friend's hand lightly.

 

“I just hate the Resistance so much.” Quinn said, malice seeping into her normal cheery demeanor. Rey grimaced.

 

“Me too, Quinn. They managed to make me almost lose everything...again.” Rey muttered quietly. Quinn held her hand.

 

“How?” She inquired, proding gently. Rey sighed and rubbed the back of her neck.

 

“Yesterday, the Resistance sent someone here, posing as a Canto official. They were trying to collect intel from the inside.” Rey closed her eyes.

 

“What happened?” Her friend’s calm tone felt like honey to Rey’s ears. Phasma turned and looked over to the girls, watching quietly for Rey’s reaction.

 

“She did what she had to do.” Phasma interjected, supporting Rey as she struggled to speak. Rey nodded.

 

“I’m sure you made the right choice.” Quinn rubbed Rey’s back in soothing circular motions.

 

“Alright, ladies. Here we go.”

* * *

 **A/N: Super short chapter but that's because Jakku deserves it's own special long chapter! Plus I kinda wanted a little interlude. You know, building the girl** **squad! Will the next chapter be dramatic? Who knows! All I know is tensions are RISING. Sexual ones too!**

 

**Also, thank you for all your lovely, sweet, and kind words you left me on the last chapter. You all mean more to me than I can ever express. :)**

**email- kylorentheemooverlord@gmail.com**

 


	16. Renegade

**Song Rec- Murder Song (5,4,3,2,1) by AURORA**

* * *

**Renegade**

 

Rey bit her lip in anticipation and closed her eyes tightly. Jakku was a place of abhorrence and disconsolation. Where her parents left her to die here, she fought for every inch of her life. She had to defend herself from the leers and unwelcomed touches of men. She had to fight to even be allowed to _eat._ She slept in an abandoned AT-AT walker that had exposed wires and spare parts gutted from it. On Jakku, Rey was nothing more than a scavenger who occasionally was useful for electrical skills.

 

Her stomach twisted at the thought of the one man who made her life a living hell.

 

Unkar Plutt.

 

The man who made her starve, who stole her hard earned meals from her. The same man who would try to steal anything and everything from her. But that was not the worst part about him.

 

The part of her life that she tried to repress the most was the feel of his greasy fingers grasping at her. The one time that he had tried to lay his hands on her the way no man ever should. The memory burned in the back of her mind and the feeling was so strong she had no doubt in the back of her mind that Ben had felt it too. She felt a wave of pure hatred and nausea float back to her. He felt it too. He had seen what she saw, felt what she felt.

 

_Kill him. Kill what has caused you such pain. Kill your past._

 

His words swirled in her mind. She could hear the pure malice ringing in her thoughts. He wanted her to murder Unkar, should the chance arrive.

 

If Ben could kill his tormentor and be freed from him, Rey should too. Rey wondered what sort of liberation would be involved in that.

 

Phasma landed the ship in one of the docking zones and unbuckled herself. Quinn and Rey automatically followed suit and unclicked their buckles. Phasma stood up and turned to Rey.

 

“Where is the Niima Outpost from here?” Rey gathered her belongings and jabbed her thumb in the east direction.

 

“Shouldn’t be more of a ten minute walk from here. Be warned, though. A lot of unsavory folk there…” Rey muttered, slinging her bag over her shoulder. Phasma nodded and gathered her belongings, exiting the ship. Quinn peaked around the corner and looked at the vast amount of sand.

 

“I still can’t get over you survived here all these years.” Quinn muttered, looking over at Rey with an expression of pity. Rey shrugged.

 

“I didn’t know any better. I didn’t even know there was any green in the galaxy.” Phasma looked over with a tight frown. It was crushing to think about Rey’s childhood, even Hux felt the same. But they didn’t want to let on too much. The First Order wasn’t centered on sympathy, but it was understanding.

 

“Right, let’s begin walking there. We need to be in and out.” Quinn and Rey gave a curt nod, following suit. The sun beat down on their necks, thankfully they were all dressed appropriately in long sleeves and pants to keep from burns.

 

“Do you have any idea what they intend on telling us that's so important?” Rey asked, squinting her eyes against the blazing rays of the sun. Quinn took a swig out of her canteen and wiped sweat off her brow. Phasma sighed heavily.

 

“Not a clue. It better be riveting or I might just kill a few people.” Rey would laugh, but this was the First Order, they meant it if they said they wanted to kill people.

 

“I see some stands, I assume that’s the Outpost?” Quinn jutted her chin over in the direction of the small market in the distance. Rey nodded.

 

“That’s the heart of Jakku.” Her tone was drained, she was not looking forward to the flashbacks. Phasma’s fist clenched and unclenched, it was very apparent she didn’t want to be here either.

 

“We’re looking for a guard that goes by the name of Estrick. He claimed to have overheard someone from the Resistance here.” The women nodded and weaved their way in and out of various stands. Various shack shops were selling odds and ends, anything from meat to spare parts. It was a technological wasteland as Phasma described it, everything here was outdated. Rey’s lip curled in disgust as she saw the main stand, housing Unkar Plutt. Phasma noticed the discomfort of the woman beside her and looked over.

 

“Do you know him?” Phasma asked, staring at Unkar in mirrored disgust. Quinn crossed her arms and frowned in the same direction.

 

“I despise him.” Rey spat, balling her fists. Phasma nodded.

 

“Give me a moment, you two fall back. I have to ask him a question.” Rey shook her head.

 

“No, we can come with.” Phasma shifted the weight on one leg and sighed. She was thinking of all the different ways this interaction could go.

 

“Excuse me, creature in the ill fitting shirt. Where might I find a man by the name of Estrick?” Unkar turned around and made an irritated face at the three women. He was sweating profusely from sitting in the metal box he was in. He grabbed a rag and wiped down his brow as he leaned closer.

 

“I don’t know. You might have to jog my memory.” He leered, licking his lips. Phasma whipped a blaster off from her thigh strap and placed it in the middle of his temple.

 

“I hope this jogs your fucking memory.” She snapped, pressing it harder into his skin. His eyes widened and he stuttered. Rey started at him, unblinking. Seeing him fear stricken wasn’t enough for her. She needed more.

 

“He’s over in t-the stand down by the s-ship.” His words choked out, the panic settling in. Phasma and Quinn turned, making their way over to the stand. Before Rey had the chance to leave, she felt a tight grip on her upper arm. Unkar yanked her closer to his counter.

 

“Back for more, _scavenger_?” His voice was grating in her ears. She felt every time he had set a hand on her, or tried to at least. She heard every time he spat a disgusting slur at her. Rey’s anger made her shake. She tried to yank herself out his grip but he held tighter.

 

“I knew you’d be back, you’re scum who else could even-” Rey took out her blaster and shot him in the chest once, avoiding any vitals so he could suffer just a little longer. He stumbled back and fell into the shelves behind him.

 

“Fuck you, I hope no one ever has to see your disgusting face ever again!” Her words flew out, anger pulsating in the air. She aimed the gun at his heart now, he looked at her, babbling, trying to bargain any inch of his life. Rey pulled the trigger and ended it all. Ended the voice, the memories, the touch. He slumped over. She felt a weight lift off her chest. There were no tears this time.

 

“Rey! Turn around!” Quinn screamed, bringing Rey back to attention. Before Rey had the chance to move out of the way, a man lunged at her.

 

She felt a sharp pain in her shoulder blade, a guard had jogged over and misfired, Quinn shoving him out of the way. He had been aiming for Rey’s head.

 

Phasma sprinted over, taking out her blaster and opening fire on every guard in the area. Rey grasped at her shoulder and gasped in pain.

* * *

Ben set down his saber and felt a sharp pain pulsate in his right shoulder. He reached up and held onto it tightly, trying to minimize the pain. He heard a gunshot, but saw no one in the room near him. Hux looked up from his position, bending over the weaponry cabinet. They were both in Ben’s training room, anxiously waiting together to hear back. Hux stode over, concern in his eyes.

 

“Is it Rey?” He asked immediately, bending down in front of the larger man. Ben gasped.

 

“I can’t see anything. I can’t see her, I can only feel it. She’s hurt. Fuck, she’s hurt! We shouldn't have agreed to let them go!” Ben shouted, slamming his other fist on the ground. Hux felt the turbulence in front of him grow, he slowly backed up in fear it could be taken out on him.

 

“Hux, call Phasma, now! They need to get out of there!” Ben roared, flailing his arm in the direction of the door. Hux stood up and quickly ran over to the door. Ben jammed his hand into his pocket and ordered a medic crew  be ready immediately for their arrival.

 

He was furious.

* * *

 

Phasma and Quinn picked Rey up, helping her walk away from the scene. Phasma grunted.

 

“Rey, can you hold off? We have to get this man to talk, then we can leave.” Rey sucked in air tightly and nodded.

 

“Quinn, see to her. I will be back.” Phasma’s face had conflicted written all over it. She was concerned for Rey, but they couldn’t leave with nothing. Quinn walked Rey over to a small shaded spot and looked around for any water to clean, or cloth to stop the bleeding. Phasma hurried off.

 

“Where is Estrick!” She stormed over, looking around furiously. A man looked over from his counter and quickly exited the stand, rushing over.

  
“I am.” He said, waving over to her. She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him back to his stand.

 

“Tell me what you heard, now. I have two minutes, spill.” She shoved her gun in his direction and he held his hands up.

 

“There was a man named Finn here, he said something about trying to see if a girl named Rey was here. Something about trying to find her, take her back. That’s all I know. Apparently they’ve been searching for this woman-” Phasma cut him off.

 

“Was anyone else with him?” She asked, impatiently. He shook his head.

 

“No, just some weird droid. That’s it. He said that she was a renegade of the Resistance.” Phasma thanked him quickly and fled the stand, making her way back to Rey.

 

“We have to get out of here, _now_. It’s not safe for Rey.” The women helped Rey up and made their way back to the ship. Rey’s expression twisted into one of pain. She nearly passed out from the seaing heat of the wound.

 

_Rey, please. Hold on. I have medics. Talk to me._

 

Ben’s concerned thoughts flooded her mind, trying to calm her. She felt his presence envelope her mind, filling her with a momentary feeling of ease.

 

“Get her in there, lay her down.” Quinn nodded to Phasma and got Rey into the back of the ship. Phasma jumped into the captain’s chair and Quinn frantically searched for water. Rey slumped over onto the chair and passed out.

* * *

 

They arrived after several hours, Phasma and Quinn were exhausted. Ben strode over, rage flaring around him and his cape whipped behind him. His helmet was back on. Phasma knew by now that when it was on, it was because was about to lose it.

 

“Where is she!” He shouted, pushing past a nearby trooper who flew out of his way. Phasma said nothing, but pointed to the ship. A team of medics whizzed past, stretcher in tow. Hux jogged over, pacing his way over to a nervous looking Quinn and stoic Phasma. Quinn wringed her hands out and nervously bit her nail. Phasma set a hand on Quinn’s shoulder in solidarity.

 

“She’s going to be fine, right?” Quinn asked, nervousness in her tone. Phasma squeezed her shoulder.

 

“You saved her.” Quinn looked down and nodded. Hux crossed his arms and watched Ben half stumble rushing into the ship.

 

“I haven’t seen him that angry in a long time.” Hux said, nonchalantly. Phasma agreed.

 

“He cares for her.”

 

Ben bent down, gently setting a gloved finger against her cheek, scared to touch her. He rested on his knees. He only had a few moments alone before the medic team came and whisked her off.

 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” He said quietly, looking at her in an agonizing manner. Rey did not stir, or wake. She was deep in a sleep. Ben closed his eyes and swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He didn’t do a good job. He wasn’t there to protect her. He wasn’t there to make sure this would have never happened. He swore whomever did this better have been killed, or he would go there himself and tear the man apart, limb from limb.

 

Ben had done everything recently to keep his anger in line for the sake of not scaring Rey off. But his rage was there. It was deeply rooted. He felt it resurfacing now. He clenched his gloved fists and stood up, allowing the medic unit to rush in and take her.

 

He banged his fist against the metal interior of the ship, cursing.

 

Ben let this happen to her.

 

But Kylo wouldn’t.

* * *

**A/N: It was nice having Ben for awhile, wasn't it? Too bad....A redemption doesn't happen over the course of two months. It's gonna take some more. The bad boi is back because someone hurt his baby.**

**Ooops.**

**ALLL aboard the dark train ;) Hope you like the bad ones.**

**How'd I do?**

**Side note! I want to write a new story right. So someone email me and I will send you my plot idea. Can't post it here:( Too many people stole my work on the last site *cries***


	17. Heal

**Song Rec- If I Get High by Nothing but Thieves**

* * *

 

**Heal**

The quiet beeps of the vitals machine was the only sound filling the medic room. It smelled like bleach and chemicals, but the only thing more abrasive than the smell was the bright white walls. Ben closed his eyes and vigorously rubbed them, trying his hardest to stay awake. He had stayed in the room with Rey overnight, sleeping in the chair next to her bed. They only had to put in a few stitches on her shoulder, but enough that they put her under for it. It reminded Ben of the time he had been in this position, receiving stitches all down his face and chest. He faintly remembered  asking them not to give him anesthetics, but the medics ignored him.

 

The heart rate monitor's monotonous beeps began to pick up and he watched as Rey’s eyelids fluttered. He immediately sat up in his seat and leaned forward. Rey’s eyes slowly opened and she blinked in confusion, taking in her surroundings. She turned to look at Ben and managed a small smile.

 

“Ben.” Rey breathed, reaching out for his hand. He looked down in shame and tried not to let the use of his name bother him. He had felt so guilty. So guilty for not doing more, being there to save her. He had felt like because Ben couldn’t do something, maybe Kylo could.

 

“Ben couldn't save you…” Ben whispered, pain filling his chest as the words strained to come out. Rey’s brows knitted together and she slowly picked up on some of his thoughts. The conflict was raging within in, torn between feeling the need to give up on his softer side he had been showing.

 

“Don’t you dare think that for one moment.” she said lowly, interrupting his swirling train of thought. He stared at her, face unreadable.

 

“Ben, you don’t need Kylo. You need you. You _are_ Ben.” Rey said, mustering her strength to squeeze his hand. He hung his head down and his shoulder blades raised. She watched, a sad expression forming on her face.

 

“I feel...guilty.” he said after a few moments of silence, withdrawing his hand from hers to interlance them together with his own. Rey shook her head vehemently.

 

“Don’t. I did what you would have done, Ben.” He looked up at her and gently searched her mind. He saw it then. The exact moment she had killed her own tormentor. He felt her emotions flash past each second it happened, the anxiety, then the rush of relief.

 

“I’m so proud of you.” Ben whispered, resting his hand on her cheek, gently stroking it. She leaned her head to his palm and smiled lightly.

 

“You don’t need him anymore. You are Ben and I want him.” The Supreme Leader closed his eyes and rested his head on her stomach. She brought her hands down to gently play with his tousled waves, allowing the vulnerable moment to last as long as possible. Most of Ben’s life lacked tender touches, heartfelt words, or intimate moments. Much to Rey’s own parallel, neither did she.

 

Seeing such a powerful man look so at peace was a feeling she would never be able to describe. This force of a man was calm, his turmblenet thoughts were put to a tranquil rest. It was like the calm after the storm.

 

Rey breathed in, watching his head gently rise and fall with the patterns of her breathing. It was an inexplicable feeling, having the most powerful man in the galaxy resting on her. The same man that was trusting enough to make himself vulnerable around her.

 

“I’m terrified at the thought of losing you,” he murmured, the vibrations of his voice melting into her chest. She smoothed his hair back, leaning down to kiss his temple.

 

“You never will.” Rey reassured, watching his eyes search deep into her soul. He looked like he was in an internal conflict on whether or not to say something.

 

“Rey, I lo-” Ben was cut off by a small blonde who came dashing around the corner, running from a team of nurses. Ben leaned back slightly, but didn’t leave Rey’s side, keeping a hand on her thigh. He internally groaned, wishing he had not been interrupted. 

 

“REY! REY! Are you okay?!” Quinn slid into the room, stumbling from her sudden sharp round off the corner. She came over to Rey’s bedside and grabbed her hand. Rey was thankful her friend had arrived, but she definitely did ruin the moment and whatever Ben was about to say…

 

“Supreme Leader.” Quinn bowed and quickly got the formalites out of the way to return back to fussing over Rey.

 

“Hey! We said you couldn't be in here! Grab her!” A security guard pointed at Quinn who glared harshly. Ben sighed. He stood up and waved his hand.

 

“Leave us. She’s fine, she can be in here.” The guards and nurses bowed and nodded, taking a quick leave in fear of annoying the man anymore. Quinn shot Ben a grateful glance and thanked him silently.

 

“Quinn saved my life, you know.” Rey said, gently playing with Ben’s fingers. He looked over at Quinn who nodded.

 

“I pushed her out of the way as much as I could. I love Rey, I would never let anything happen to her.” The blonde said, gently placing the back of her hand to Rey’s forehead. Rey smiled.

 

“Thank you.” Ben said, giving her an approving nod. Quinn was elated inside. It was very rare anyone ever heard those two words leave his lips, and for them to be spoken to her was next level.

 

“When can I get out of here?” Rey asked, sitting up and attempting to take out the IV in her arm. Ben and Quinn shot up in a panic.

 

“Don’t!” They exclaimed at the same time, reaching out to grab her arm. Rey rolled her eyes.

 

“I’m not a baby you don’t need to mother _and_ father me.” Rey said, looking pointedly at the both of them. Ben crossed his arms.

 

“I’ll get Hux and Phasma.” Rey’s eyes widened.

 

“Okay, okay, fair enough…” she muttered, giving into the defeat. She sunk back into the pillows and sighed heavily. Rey hated sitting around more than anything, she wanted to be able to get up and do something. There was a knock at the door and the three of them looked up, glancing to see who it was. Rey smiled.

 

“Hux.” Ben greeted him with a tight nod. Hux came in and stopped at the end of her bed.

 

“Well, you better make a speedy recovery, we’ve got a Resistance to destroy…” Hux mused, peering over at her monitors. Rey rolled her eyes and stretched out her sore shoulder and winced as she made a move that caused a flash to wash over her. Ben frowned, it killed him to see her in pain.

 

“The nurse told me it would be a fast recovery. And it it isn’t we simply leave her behind.” Ben said, moving to stand near Hux who was flipping through a report filled out by the surgeon. Rey shook her head.

 

“Absolutely not, you are going with me, crippled or not.” Quinn sat down at the edge of the bed and patted her friend's leg.

 

“Well, will yourself to heal faster or I am going to have to save your ass, _again_.” Quinn teased. Rey gently shoved her in the side with her foot and grinned.

 

“You’re supposed to be relaxing.” Hux chastised, grimacing at Rey’s squirming.

 

“Hux, I hope you and Phasma have children because you sure seem to be good at being a dad.” Hux quickly averted his eyes after Rey’s jab and tried not to blush. Ben crossed his arms and smirked.

 

“I thought you were talentless but it seems that you’ve got the ability to get so flustered that your cheeks match your hair…” Ben said, watching the general’s scowl deepen. Rey grinned.

 

“Kylo, if you weren’t the Supreme Pain- in- My- Ass Leader, by now I would have strangled you.” Ben chuckled lightly and shook his head.

 

“You’re too frail. You’d pass out before you could make a fist.” Quinn stifled a laugh and tried to not make eye contact with Rey, who was also struggling to suppress  a fit of giggles.

 

“Just because I am not built like an obnoxiously large destroyer does not mean I cannot fight.” Ben’s expression was baffled.

 

“Obnoxiously large?”  He questioned, looking over to Rey. She laughed.

 

“You are quite large. But in a muscly way.” He glanced over to Quinn who shrugged.

 

“They aren’t wrong…” She said, smiling at Rey. Hux took out his datapod and snapped a quick picture of Rey’s report and sent it to Phasma. She was out in the field training her troopers but wanted an update on how she was doing. She had been worried after seeing Ben's behavior and the medic team rushing around.

 

“What are you doing?” Rey asked, looking over at Hux. He finished his message and turned to her.

 

“Phasma wanted to know how you were fairing.” Rey felt her heart skip a beat. So many people in her life cared for her.

 

“Also, Cedric wanted to visit you but he got called to help repair some lights on a tie fighter.” Quinn said, making sure Rey knew that Cedric didn't forget about her.

 

Rey felt _whole_ here. She was meant to be here.

 

“Alright, Rey, please finish resting.” Hux finally said after a pause in the conversation. Quinn agreed and got up to leave the room with Hux. Ben hadn’t moved to follow them yet and the general sighed.

 

“That means you too, Kylo.” Ben frowned and turned to leave as well. Rey closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift back to sleep. She was exhausted and needed to heal as fast as possible. There was no way they were leaving without her.

 

* * *

 

“Kylo, she needs to heal as fast as possible, she is the advantage we need-” Kylo put his hand up to Hux, waving for him to stop speaking. It was a habit he needed to break, constantly waving people off. In fact, it was Hux's biggest peeve about him. His audible sigh rang out in the room.They were alone in a small room in the back of the library, sipping whiskey and discussing plans, as per usual.

 

“Ben.” He said, correcting Hux. Hux stared at him, blinking dubiously. Hux stopped working on the map he had been drawing out in front of them and dropped his arm.

 

“Ben?” he asked, uncertainty in his tone , "You want me to call you Ben?” The name felt alien on his tongue. He had been instructed long ago to never call him by that name. The shock had not left Hux yet as his mind continued to echo the name over and over.

 

“Yes. Not around anyone else and don’t ask questions.” Ben wasn’t entirely sure why he wanted Hux to call him by his real name. But he knew it felt better to hear it. It grounded him. Made him feel _human_. Hearing his name come from Rey was secretly one of the most comforting feelings for Ben. Hux was the only other person Ben was remotely close to in his life. Though they may not be blood, or even the closest of friends, they spent the most of their time together.

 

“Uh, anyways, Ben…” Hux’s words fell deaf on Ben’s ears as he rambled on about their strategy to land on Crait two days early to prepare an ambush.

 

_You asked him to call you Ben?_

 

Rey’s questions slipped into his mind, her words like milk and honey in his ears. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

 

 _I don’t know why either. It just felt right._  He answered back. He felt a warm sensation fill his mind, her approval radiating onto him.

 

“Ben? Hello? Are you listening?” Hux snapped his fingers in front of Ben’s face and brought him back to what was happening in front of him. He blinked a few times before taking in the writing on the board in front of him.

 

“Call Phasma, get her in here. Also, I want that one girl here. Quinn? I need to speak with her.” Ben ordered, standing up to pace the small room. Hux nodded wordlessly and turned to his datapod to fulfill the request.

* * *

 **A/N: I want to give a huge, huge, huge, HUGE thank you to _Wirerose_ my ** **wonderful new friend who has so graciously been going through my chapters and editing my work, I love you:) Your help means the world to me.**

 

 

 **Check out this fan art of Quinn made by _popcornpages88_** **on tumblr:)!! So cool!!!**

[Link to tumblr art ](https://adamdriverfuckyes.tumblr.com/post/169330574270/some-holocene-fan-art-done-by-popcornpages88-of/embed)

 

 


	18. Crash

**Author’s Note: Oh, my, god. I know it’s been two months and for that, I greatly apologize. I know you guys are upset with me, I can tell from the emails and comments, but I am back now. I have my spring break so I will probably update a few times. I am free for the next week and a half so if you need me, here I am.**

**Guys, I have to tell you I take 19 credits in college which is a lot so I truly do not have time to update during my semester and BEG for patience from you guys! I will NEVER force an update or a shitty chapter for the sake of posting. I think writing comes from the heart, it’s natural. I missed you all so much and am thrilled to be back for a bit.**

 

**Song Rec- Berlin by RY X**

* * *

**Crash**

There was something so beautiful, yet absolutely heart-aching about someone who lies in front of you.  Especially someone that had been through so much trauma. But it was serene, the gentle movements of her eyelids, the soft breaths that escape her lips in sleep, the quiet rise of her chest. It hurt him to know that she had suffered at the hands of a monster, but he knew that now she would be able to recover.

 

Rey was stunning. She was stunning, even in her untroubled slumber.

 

Ben lowered himself down to her, her bed significantly lower than his legs. She was back into her own room, having gained clearance from the medic crew. Her bandages were becoming thinner and in a day’s time, she would be nearly healed. Ben had ensured she had around the clock care, the best medics available, and the top of the line medications. Nothing less for someone who deserves everything. He also had made sure that when she woke up, the entire room would be surrounded by her favorite yellow flowers. Rey had developed a deep affinity for peonies. Drawing his attention toward the small woman in front of him once more, he allowed a grim smile to settle on his face. He gently placed his hand on the side of her cheek, pushing a few strands of loose hair back behind her ear.

 

Ben sighed and stood up, looking over to his travelpod. A message from Hux. He leaned over to the side table and snatched the device up, eyes peeling over the message quickly.

 

_Plan set in motion, gathering supplies and preparing ships for tomorrow._

 

Ben felt a slight stir in his stomach. It was finally happening. The war would be resumed, and this time, he did not want it to continue. He wanted this all to end, to be with Rey, but most importantly to be at peace. He felt a shiver run up his spine and a quiet whisper flood his thoughts.

 

_I love you, Padme._

 

Ben whirled around, eyes desperately searching for the disembodied voice. He knew it was simply the murmuring of the force swirling around his mind. Why now? Why him? More importantly, why that phrase, over and over? Ben raked his hands through his hair, pacing now. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples. There was something about this planet, the quiet echoes and whispers were louder on some days than they were others. Melancholy would wash over him occasionally, hearing his family in his mind.

 

It’s not like he didn’t _want_ peace as well. He wanted order, structure even, to the galaxy. He wanted the tortures of the Resistance eliminated. Rey would struggle, initially, making the decision to destroy those who were once close to her. But he knew she was nearly ready. After the run-in, she had faced with Poe months ago, the recent issue with Poe, and the combination of stress from Unkarr, she was going to wake up and rip apart the galaxy.

 

He looked out the window and noticed small droplets on the glass, slowly trickling down. The entire atmosphere seemed to be forlorn, perhaps it was missing the normal sunshine it got from Rey.

 

Ben left the room, leaving her to be at peace with sleep.

 

* * *

Rey woke up, her bleary eyes slowly blinking back sleep. Her nose was immediately filled with the soft fragrance of peonies and a hint of rain. She looked around the room and noticed the delightful display of all the flowers around her.

 

Ben.

 

A small smile graced her soft lips and she took in a deep breath. If only he knew just how much everything he did for him, made her feel. She saw a few messages on her datapod, some from Hux, a few from Phasma and Quinn, then a few other general ones. They were leaving tomorrow, she knew this.

 

She also knew once she could drag her body from the cotton sheets that were tangled around her, she could start packing. Rey had every intention in her body to make sure she went with them to the

Resistance base. She was going to go there and restore peace once and for all. Rey often thought about what life will be like once the war is over. Perhaps they really could restore equilibrium, do some good for a change.

It was probably two or three days that she had been recovering. Rey was itching to get back into the thick of everything. Back to her friends, her work, her goals. She was tired of sleeping away her injuries. Rey swapped her white medical gown for a fitted pair of black pants and match grey shirt. She glanced at her reflection and blinked in confusion. She had forgotten about the bandages. They didn't look too bad, they were quite light. Her injury wouldn't be too much longer. 

A knock came at her door, she quickly flashed her fingers against the access pad and allowed the stranger in. Her gaze was met with a flash of vibrant hair. 

  
"So, she awakens." Hux's tone had a hint of ease in it, thankful she was finally returning to her normal self. Rey rolled her eyes and smiled lightly. 

"I have a job to fulfill tomorrow, it's time I got out of bed, don't you think?" Hux nodded and walked into her room, gently touching the flowers. He shook his head. Ben was becoming so soft. It worried him a bit, but it also made Hux feel relieved. It was nice to see such a compassionate side out of their Supreme Leader. Even Phasma was growing to like this new "Ben".

"I suppose no matter how you feel, you were going to be joining us." Rey laughed and set down her gown she had previously changed out of. 

"You know me so well, huh?" She grabbed a pair of slip-on shoes beneath her bed and sat down to put them on. Rey wanted to go find Phasma and Quinn to thank them for all they had done for her back on Jakku. Quinn saved her life. Rey felt forever indebted to Quinn for that selfless action. 

"Phasma came under some brief heat for the Jakku trip...From yours dearly...Ben." Hux mused, being careful not to accuse Ben of overstepping his boundaries. Hux was slightly annoyed he could not defend Phasma's actions, but he tried his hardest to stay neutral. No one enjoys seeing their significant other yelled at.

"Oh, sorry...What about Quinn?" Rey asked, hope filling her eyes. Hux shrugged. 

"More than likely on Ben's better-natured side." Rey found herself smiling over again.  _Ben,_ she couldn't wait to see him once she found him. 

"You know, he visited you almost every hour he could and spent nights with you." Rey's heart skipped a few beats. He was so selfless and caring towards her. She still wondered what he meant to tell her that one time she was over in the medic bay. He had started to say something and Quinn had interrupted. 

Rey was going to ask him the second she had the time to, for now, it was back to work. 

* * *

 

**A/N: OKAY. Short chapter, I know, I know! Don't kill me, I am just trying to get back into the grooove. I had to go reread so much of my story and triple check my outline because I forgot some of the plotwork... But now we are really gearing up for some serious action. Thanks so much in advance for sticking around :) Let me know how it was! Comment, email, whatever.**

**Email: kylorentheemooverlord@gmail.com**

****


	19. I'll Be Good

**Chapter 19: I’ll Be Good**

 

Song Rec: Dauoalogn by Sigur Ros

 

* * *

 

Rey crossed her arms and watched as every available set of hands bustled about, prepping everything to leave. It was happening. It was _really_ happening. Rey knew she had had months to be ready for this moment. But could anyone ever be ready to face those she once thought she loved?

 

They were about to take off, on a path of destruction to Crait. She knew she felt hatred for all the Resistance had done to her. Especially Finn. But there was something that bothered her. A small voice inside her mind simply felt like it was almost...Wrong? Like the situation could be handled differently.

 

“I’m scared too.” A voice stated, Rey solely looked over her shoulder and saw Quinn next to her. Rey gave her a tight smile and a squeeze.

 

“I don’t want to lose anyone else. Not anymore. I’m tired of it.” Rey admitted. Quinn’s eyes flashed down to Rey’s own, exhausted looking eyes. She nodded.

 

“I know, Rey. It’s going to be over soon. We won’t have to suffer at the hands of the Resistance. We can destroy those...despicable people once and for all.” Rey sighed. She wanted nothing more than to get revenge, it’s what has driven her for months, but now. Now it was all too real for her. Would she freeze up?

 

“I know how it feels. But Rey, listen. When we land, you will _know_ where your vengeance lies.” Quinn wrapped her arm around Rey’s small shoulder, drawing her closer. The girls hugged, wordlessly.

 

“Rey, I feel that it’s necessary I apologize for the harm I put you in.” Phasma walked over, helmet off, sincere expression visible.

 

“And I am sorry for the hell that Ben put you through…” Phasma’s eyes widened.

 

“How did you hear-”

 

“Believe me, Hux told me.” Rey cut in, smiling lightly.

 

“I’m not upset at all. I know that wasn’t your intention.” Rey said, placing a hand on Phasma’s shoulder. The older woman sighed lightly, placing her hands on Rey’s.

 

“How are you holding up?” Phasma asked, peering into Rey’s eyes. Rey shifted uneasily.

 

“I’m not sure how I feel, honestly.” The young girl bit her lip and looked off into the distance. Phasma cleared her throat.

 

“Our Supreme Leader wishes to see you.” Rey felt her chest tighten.

 

Ben. She needed Ben.

 

Rey quietly took her leave and began to walk up to the captain’s deck. As she left, Phasma turned to Quinn, her expression deadly serious.

 

“Kylo wants you to guard her with her life when we land. He’s made that abundantly clear.” Quinn only nodded, heaving a heavy sigh.

 

“I know, he let me know that after he asked to speak with me when Rey was in the medic bay.” Phasma's hard expression shifted slightly as she watched the troopers load everything into the ships. 

 

"Are you worried too?" Quinn asked, following the captain's gaze. Phasma gave a slight shrug. 

 

"This is the only life I've known." She answered honestly. Quinn knew Phasma was right. They didn't know any better.

 

"Do you think this could be it? The last time we fight the Resistance?" Quinn wondered aloud.

 

"Perhaps." 

* * *

 

“Ben?” Rey softly knocked on his bedroom door. After she was unable to find him on the deck, or his office, or even Hux’s office, she knew he must be here. She could hear the familiar beeps of the access pad on the other side, and a whoosh of air as the metal door slid back.

 

Rey felt an overwhelming desire to just throw herself into his warmth, and so she did.

 

“Ben…” She practically tripped over her own two feet crashing into him. Ben immediately wrapped his arms around her small frame. He inhaled deeply, taking in the beautiful, gently scent, that was Rey.

 

“I missed you so much,” Rey whispered, against the the fabric of his robes. Ben rubbed small circles onto her back.

 

“I know.” He smiled lightly, pressing a kiss to her temple. Rey smiled, but it quickly faded when she remembered that they were leaving tonight.

 

“Tell me, what troubles you?” Ben tilted her chin up, making eye contact with her wet eyes.

 

“I’m worried...What if when we arrive I-I freeze up?” Rey asked quietly, tears choking her calm town.

 

“I would never force you to do anything, should you decide not to,” Ben said, speaking into her ear. Her soft hair tickled his lips as he placed another kiss on her head. She retracted, remembering something she had wanted to ask him.

 

“When I was in the medic bay, you were saying something before Quinn came in, what was it?” Ben felt his cheeks burn slightly and he averted eye contact.

 

“I-, it wasn’t important.” Rey narrowed her eyes and probed his mind slightly.

 

“You lie.” Rey pushed, meeting a wall in his mind. Ben adjusted his collar and looked down at her.

 

“I don’t know how you’ll take it…” He admitted after a while of silence. Rey blinked in confusion.

 

“Ben Solo, there is nothing in this galaxy that you could say to me that would make me not “take” something the right way,” Rey said, grabbing his hand to reassure him. Ben cleared his throat and placed his hand on her cheek lightly.

 

“Okay.” He said, taking a deep breath.

 

“Rey. I love you. I love you, and I have never been more sure of anything in my life." 

 

* * *

**A/N: *quietly gushes***

**Short, but it's an update. I feel like these last two needed to be short in a sense, they wouldn't flow in the other chapters like I planned. But!**

**Life updates!**  


**Summertime! I am only taking two classes for the summer, so more free time. Yay!**

 

**But I have a serious question for you all. I'm working on a novel, right? As in, me, the author, writing an original novel. Let's say it was to be published.**

**Would you guys read it? It's a supernatural story :) I am just curious if I were to ever take on real-life projects if you all would continue to read my work, even if it wasn't Star Wars.**

**Anyways! I LOVE all your emails and comments as always, they inspire me to update. I love this story and don't want it to ever be unfinished. So ALWAYS bug me:)**

**As always, email me:) kylorentheemooverlord@gmail.com, let's chat!**


	20. Danger Zone

**Song Rec: Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins** (lol im sorry)

* * *

Rey's anger seared through her like a hot knife. Earlier on when she had wondered whether or not she would feel apprehensive upon landing was now a fleeting thought.

Crait was desolate, unwelcoming, and all around unpleasant. Sort of like the Resistance, Rey thought to herself bitterly.

They had arrived a day earlier than they needed to, to camp out and launch their strategy. Hux had told her that they were about half the planet's circumference away from their sworn enemy. 

But for Rey, that managed to still not feel far enough. All she wanted was for Finn, Poe, and Leia to understand the pain they put her through. The words that swarmed her thoughts in the darkest hours of the night. 

_“Save it, you didn’t come back with Luke, you didn’t come back to even help in time. We lost countless bodies, Rey. Where were you?”_

Leia.

_“Traitor.”_

Finn.

She didn't need to go on. She knew where her loyalty stood. But she couldn't help but be reminded of all the horrible things that have happened to her because of the Resistance. Her time on Canto Bight at the arms deal. Her time on Jakku. The vicious words hurled at her from all of them. And she especially remembered the order sent out for execution. 

* * *

 

**GENERAL LEIA ORGANA**

**ORDER 8807 ***  

APPREHEND BEN SOLO/KYLO REN, IF DEATH IS NECESSARY, CARRY OUT.

* * *

 

That original message that Hux showed her still burned through her memories. And that dream she had forever ago now almost felt like a premonition. Rey cringed as the dream resurfaced in her mind.

_“Finn! Stop! Stop! Please!” She watched as Finn’s wicked smile grew deeper and he grabbed her lightsaber from her hand, bringing it over her. But his expression flashed to something else in the corner of his eye. It was Kylo._

_“Rey?” Kylo stepped over, searching for her. He couldn’t see her, or Finn, he was blindly searching.  Finn chuckled darkly and spun, striking down Kylo. His lifeless body dropped down into the snow, the blood pooling around him._

She tightened her first and bit down on her lip, drawing blood. Her rage only intensified. While she was in the medic bay they must have used medicine to subdue her because this was some intense anger she hadn't felt in a long time...Her thoughts were interrupted when a shuffle of boots came upon her. Rey felt a hand tighten around her shoulder, drawing her closer to the warm body behind her.

"Rey," he whispered, kissing the top of her head, "stop worrying about me." Ben's soft voice had a hint of warning in it, he was concerned that if Rey continued her anxious mental spiral, she would lose it. Rey leaned back into him, wordlessly burying her face into his heavy fabric.

She still wasn't sure how to talk to him. Just hours ago he had told her that he loved her. And what did she do? She stared, tried to talk, and stuttered. Rey wanted to say it back. She did, truly.

But she didn't know how. Rey never had anyone love her so deeply in her life, and she knew she felt the same. But something inside her didn't let the words come out. Rey was thankful it was one of the few times she allowed Ben to read her mind and emotions, or else he would have probably been avoiding her, or killing someone...

"I can't. It's like I can never feel that you're safe in this galaxy with...with them!" Rey shouted, motioning to the area behind the huge mountain range. Ben only nodded, following her gaze.

"Rey, I killed Snoke. I murdered the previous Supreme Leader. I killed my father. I've killed more than I care to remember. Isn't it my time to have a share of run-ins with death?" he asked, tilting her chin to search deeply into her brown eyes. She averted eye contact almost instantly and frowned.

"A planet exploding and you dying along with it doesn't count?" Rey muttered, crossing her arms. Ben shook his head and released her chin, turning away to find Hux.

"Quinn, sedate her or something," Hux called over, watching Rey stand there, consumed by rage, and possibly plotting to take out an entire order by herself. Quinn nodded and walked over, her normally soft eyes boring down on her best friend. 

"Rey, can you cool it for a few seconds? We are planning an attack now," she said, rubbing her friend's shoulder. It was a bit hard to convey the heartfelt gesture over all Rey's heavy layers. Quinn thought it would be rather ironic to put Rey in one of Ben's old cloaks. 

Just to irritate the Resistance

For old time's sake. 

"I've been waiting for nearly months," Rey seethed, watching her boyfriend stalk off with Hux, who was acting like a real pain in the ass. Quinn took a seat on a nearby crate and sighed heavily. 

"It needs to go perfectly. We can't have you go blazing in there with the galaxy's strongest vendetta. We have all put our lives on the line, and some of us, our lives on hold, for this mission. This could be our chance to end it all. Regain order of the galaxy." Quinn said, fidgetting with her grey sleeves. Rey let out a sigh and took a seat next to Quinn. 

"What is this glorious plan that has been laid out?" Rey asked, watching a few stormtroopers set up base. Phasma passed them, screaming into her data pod about missing some shipment that was supposed to have arrived with them. Classic Phasma. 

"Well, we're here a day before the attack to essentially set up shop. Then, overnight, we are going to send out a few troopers to stake out their base. Then in the early hours of the morning, we strike. From all sides of the canyon around us," she pointed over to the large mountains beyond their temporary base. 

"Tents and all, huh?" Rey asked as tents began to pop up left and right before her. Quinn laughed. 

"It's like a camping trip where death is inevitable, not impossible." Rey rolled her eyes at her friend's attempt at dry humor. Then, a thought crossed her mind. 

"Are we sharing a tent?" she asked her blonde friend, curiously studying her expression. Quinn snorted and didn't bother to contain her reaction to Rey's question. 

"Oh, honey, you're sharing with our Supreme Leader. I hope you don't mind small spaces with him." 

* * *

  **A/N:** I have to admit it feels so weird writing the plot to my story. Like, this is what everything was leading up to and it's finally fucking happening. I am so excited. And as you can tell the updates are happening more often! Soooo I wanted to drop two things!

I hope you liked this chapter, I am getting back into my longer word counts now that I have time to focus on the story more. 

Fair warning...next chapter might beeee....steamy? They are sharing a tent after all. And I think this story is ready for some umm....action!

AND! A lot of you said you would read my orignal work and it is on my wattpad so **HERE IS THAT!:**

 https://www.wattpad.com/579301162-the-dearly-departed-my-dying-wish

* * *

 


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